Friday, May 05, 2006

The apple don't fall far from the tree

Oh, the Kennedy clan.

Do these people not realize that they're a laughingstock outside of their stomping grounds?

Speaking of, I can't believe that people re-elect these parasites. I knew that the Kennedy White House was all very romantic, and all that bushwa, but it was forty years ago! Judas tap-dancing Priest, quit voting for these idiots based on your fuzzy recollection their dead relatives from forty years ago!

Now that that is off my chest, back to the story at paw:

Seems like Congress-critter Patrick Kennedy, offspring of Teddy "Frogman of the Chappaquiddick" Kennedy, just might have a substance abuse problem.

We will now pause whilst my Gentle Readers recover from the shock.

Heh.

I wonder if they let Dear Old Dad sober up before breaking the news to him, or if they just figured that since he's sauced most of the time, why bother to wait? Did an aide pass him a message, or did they let the tart du jour whisper it in his ear?

Of course, Congress-critter Kennedy announced that: "at no time before the incident did I consume any alcohol" and we all know that no Kennedy would lie.

Patty apparently slept through the Kennedy Standard Operating Procedure lecture series concerning witnesses, because at least two people saw him knocking back drinks at the Hawk and Dove just prior to him:

1) Driving a wee bit over the speed limit;
2) With his headlights off at 2 in the bloody A.M.;
3) Near-missing a marked PD cruiser going the other way;
4) Failing to miss the curb;
5) Failing to stop for the lights and siren in his rear-view;
6) Finally stopping -- but only because he had rammed an innocent construction barrier.

Kennedys.

*sigh*

Anyhoo, as if you couldn't guess, when the officers approached the Congress-critter, he had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, unsteady balance and the odor of an alcoholic beverage about his person.

*snort*

I could write the PC for that one in my sleep.

Unfortunately, this being Washington "Putrescent Pesthole of Parasitic Pissant Politicians" Dee-Cee; and the good Congress-critter being one of the afore-mentioned Pustulant Pismire Politicians: the PD brass got involved and Patty got a courtesy drive home and three traffic tickets -- none of which involved alcohol or dope-- instead of waking up in the drunk tank in a pool of something you don't want to think about while Listerine Larry uses the legislative leg for a pillow (and allowing Larry's mechanized dandruff to recon, assault, and secure territory for use by allied forces).

*sigh*

I can dream, can't I?

Of course, the Congress-critter has blamed this incident on his use of prescription Ambien and Phenergan. Apparently the drugs caused a sleep-driving effect and the good Congress-critter doesn't remember anything of the evening. Total blank.

Except for the telling officers at the crash site that he never asked for any special treatment. He remembers that. But he doesn't remember anything else.

He can remember exactly what he told the officers, but not anything else about the night? Horse puckey.

Hey, Patty, it's not my place to offer advice to those who aren't kith or kin, but here's some advice, free of charge:

Washing down your Ambien and Phenergan with booze tends to erase the old mental hard-drive. That's Mother Nature's way of saying: Don't do that ****, dumbass.

Moron. And people VOTE for him! Multiple times! "Hey, Edna! We need a representative -- who should we vote for?"

"How about that nice Kennedy boy?"

"He's a drunk. Rehab has a dedicated room for him. He's an embarrassment."

"Yeah, but JFK and Jackie were cute."

"Oh, what the hell."


Kee Riced All My Tea.

*sigh*

American politics -- folks, we can't make up stuff like this.

LawDog

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Universal Suffrage was the single biggest mistake in American history.

Bernard Brandt said...

I dunno about Universal Suffrage, but in this context, I'm reminded of something that dear old Will Rogers used to say:

A lot of folks think that I'm a comedian, but really, I'm just a journalist: I read the papers and report the news.

Do please keep up the good work, LawDog.

Anonymous said...

That was THE most brilliant commentary I have yet read on this clustersquick.

I am thoroughly amazed how in the name of all that's reasonable how this tard could ever be in congress? Not so much that he's an admitted alky and dopehead heck I'd probably vote for akly's and dopeheads. You'd probably have to get drunk and stoned to do that job. But he's admitted to being mentally ill. That's right ladies and gentlemen....he's a mental defective. He's bi-freaking-polar. He's batting three for three. He's drunk, drugged and crazy. I take that back he's five for five. He's drunk, drugged, and crazy, a Kennedy, a Congressman. No, six for six. He's drunk, drugged, and crazy, a Kennedy, a Congressman and in a car crash.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...he didn't exactly get the treatment that Rush Limbaugh got in the state of Florida.

I'll be waiting for the media to drag his "good" name through the news for years on end.

Kiki B.

Anonymous said...

I just wish he'd get the same treatment *I* would if I did something that dim.

Jon said...

I think this episode is proof that the insane are running the asylum. What's incredible is that two entire states are completely occupied and controlled by nut cases. I think we are worrying about putting up fences on the wrong borders.

Legman688 said...

Lawdog for President!

*chanting*
"Law-DOG! Law-DOG! Law-DOG!"

garys said...

Let's look a the recent track record here,

Michael Kennedy skies head first into a tree and dies.

JFK Jr flies his plane into the ocean, killing himself, his wife, and sister in law.

Patrick Kennedy hits everything except the lottery with his car or boat.

Thinking about it, the only thing more dangerous than being WITH a Kennedy, might be actually BEING a Kennedy.

Sort of makes the "Curse of the Bambino" look like child's play, doesn't it?

Rick T said...

The curse of the Kennedys is hubris... Overweening arrogance....

Dr. StrangeGun said...

dashboard cam?

geekWithA.45 said...

I once challenged a Massachusan, really cornered the poor girl.

Made her watch a tape of Ted ranting and raving on the Senate floor, spraying foam and specks of spittle everywhere.

"Why, in the name of god, do you clowns keep re-electing this guy?"

Her answer: "We take perverse pride in him".

Yup. Perverse. That's a good word.

Anonymous said...

Being an officer in the Washington DC area and having stopped my share in people that believe themselves to be important parts of this countries government I can guess what happened. Kennedy may not have asked for special treatment but I know that he made it known who he was and how important he figgured himself to be.

My opinion is that he was off his rocker drunk and that he should have been cuffed and stuffed. Unfortunitly too many officers and departments dont want to get tied up in a criminal case against "Importnat" people.

markm said...

IIRC, people were talking about a "Kennedy curse" even before JFK was shot. They did seem to have more than one family's share of medical problems, which must have been just plain bad luck. Since then, I think it's been mainly arrogance:

JFK rides through a city in an open car, against the advice of the Secret Service. At least one nut sets up a sniper nest in all the handy cover provided by multiple skyscrapers along the route.

RFK avoided open cars where there was too much sniper cover, but liked to press into the middle of a crowd to press hands. Who'd have thought one such crowd might contain a nut with a handgun and an insane grievance? Bobby's Secret Service detail did, I'm sure, but Bobby didn't listen.

Someone neglected to build a bridge where Teddy tried to drive across the river.

That tree failed to recognize Michael Kennedy's worth and jump out of his way.

JFK Jr didn't feel he needed to actually learn to use his instruments before flying into bad weather.

Edward Kennedy Smith didn't have to ask that woman if she wanted sex - it was 2 am, and being a Kennedy on one side, he was naturally irresistable to women...

The biggest problem with the Kennedy's is that there are so many of them and so few really stupid ways to get killed.