Oh, the Kennedy clan.
Do these people not realize that they're a laughingstock outside of their stomping grounds?
Speaking of, I can't believe that people re-elect these parasites. I knew that the Kennedy White House was all very romantic, and all that bushwa, but it was forty years ago! Judas tap-dancing Priest, quit voting for these idiots based on your fuzzy recollection their dead relatives from forty years ago!
Now that that is off my chest, back to the story at paw:
Seems like Congress-critter Patrick Kennedy, offspring of Teddy "Frogman of the Chappaquiddick" Kennedy, just might have a substance abuse problem.
We will now pause whilst my Gentle Readers recover from the shock.
I wonder if they let Dear Old Dad sober up before breaking the news to him, or if they just figured that since he's sauced most of the time, why bother to wait? Did an aide pass him a message, or did they let the tart du jour whisper it in his ear?
Of course, Congress-critter Kennedy announced that: "at no time before the incident did I consume any alcohol" and we all know that no Kennedy would lie.
Patty apparently slept through the Kennedy Standard Operating Procedure lecture series concerning witnesses, because at least two people saw him knocking back drinks at the Hawk and Dove just prior to him:
1) Driving a wee bit over the speed limit;
2) With his headlights off at 2 in the bloody A.M.;
3) Near-missing a marked PD cruiser going the other way;
4) Failing to miss the curb;
5) Failing to stop for the lights and siren in his rear-view;
6) Finally stopping -- but only because he had rammed an innocent construction barrier.
Anyhoo, as if you couldn't guess, when the officers approached the Congress-critter, he had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, unsteady balance and the odor of an alcoholic beverage about his person.
I could write the PC for that one in my sleep.
Unfortunately, this being Washington "Putrescent Pesthole of Parasitic Pissant Politicians" Dee-Cee; and the good Congress-critter being one of the afore-mentioned Pustulant Pismire Politicians: the PD brass got involved and Patty got a courtesy drive home and three traffic tickets -- none of which involved alcohol or dope-- instead of waking up in the drunk tank in a pool of something you don't want to think about while Listerine Larry uses the legislative leg for a pillow (and allowing Larry's mechanized dandruff to recon, assault, and secure territory for use by allied forces).
I can dream, can't I?
Of course, the Congress-critter has blamed this incident on his use of prescription Ambien and Phenergan. Apparently the drugs caused a sleep-driving effect and the good Congress-critter doesn't remember anything of the evening. Total blank.
Except for the telling officers at the crash site that he never asked for any special treatment. He remembers that. But he doesn't remember anything else.
He can remember exactly what he told the officers, but not anything else about the night? Horse puckey.
Hey, Patty, it's not my place to offer advice to those who aren't kith or kin, but here's some advice, free of charge:
Washing down your Ambien and Phenergan with booze tends to erase the old mental hard-drive. That's Mother Nature's way of saying: Don't do that ****, dumbass.
Moron. And people VOTE for him! Multiple times! "Hey, Edna! We need a representative -- who should we vote for?"
"How about that nice Kennedy boy?"
"He's a drunk. Rehab has a dedicated room for him. He's an embarrassment."
"Yeah, but JFK and Jackie were cute."
"Oh, what the hell."
Kee Riced All My Tea.
American politics -- folks, we can't make up stuff like this.