Monday, July 10, 2006

Dear LawDog ...

I don't have my e-mail address listed anywhere on my blog, however, this hasn't stopped various folks from checking some Internet forums and lifting my addy. So, courtesy of the E-Mail Inbox:

Dear Lawdog,

Why do you use blue italics in your blog?

I was taught penmanship with a fountain pen and a bottle of Waterman's Blue-Black ink. That is how all of my informal or personal writing is done. My blog is very informal, so blue cursive (italics) it is.

Dear 'Dog,

You sure do talk/write/spell funny. Are you American?

My father was an American citizen, and my mother still is. Since both my parents were American citizens, under jus sanguini I am automatically an American citizen. However, my mother was in a foreign country when I decided it was time to have a look at this big ol' world, and I never spent more than a month or so out of each year in the United States until my sixteenth birthday, so American English didn't have a big influence on my vocabulary. In addition, all of my tutors during those 16 years were European and most were Irish, Scottish or English, which has, no doubt, coloured my language a bit.

Dear Lawdog,

Military Brat or Missionary Kid?

Oil Field Spawn.

Dear LD,

Are your stories true? Did they actually happen?

A good many details in my stories have been changed to protect the innocent, fool process servers, avoid sub poenas, flummox attorneys, and confuse irritated critters, fellow officers and perplexed by-standers. The incidents actually happened, but if you think you know when, where, or whom was involved, you're probably mistaken.

Dear Lawdawg,

Are you in North Texas, or are you in West Texas?

Yes.

LD,

Why don't you use your real name in your blog, or on the forums?

I am an intensely private person. A long-ago lady friend was of the opinion that I ought to replace 'private' with 'paranoid', but that may be going a little far.

My business is mine alone.

And, yes, I am fully cognizant that any decent script kiddie or Internet investigator could ferret out my name with half-a-dozen keystrokes, but I see no reason to make their job any easier.

Hey, Lawdog,

When is the book coming out?

You're getting the stories for free, why is everyone so anxious to pay money for free stuff?

Heh.

The real answer is that I have no plans at this time to produce a book. If I should ever decide to publish my scribblings, it'll probably be in Rich Lucibellas' SWAT Magazine.

Unless someone decides to throw obscene amounts of money at my head. Or even lewd amounts, depending on what sort of day I've had.

LawDog

6 comments:

martywd said...

"Dear LawDog ..." = FAQ...

Just extreme speculation on my part that this in fact could be the start of the LawDog's FAQ?

Yeah the lack of an eMail address on your site has intrigued me, but not enough for me to infringe on your 'privacy'. i.e., tee off LawDog, too much, and he might just go away. Now that would be just _wrong_!

Keep up the good work!
martywd
===<

Tam said...

"Unless someone decides to throw obscene amounts of money at my head. Or even lewd amounts,"

I can only come up with Moderately Naughty amounts, so you're safe for now. ;)

Nathaniel Firethorn said...

Dear LawDog:

With that background, what kind of an accent did you wind up with?

(a) Texan;
(b) Brit;
(c) Nigerian pidgin;
(d) Whitebread teevee Murrican;
(e) Some combination thereof, or;
(f) Yes?

Slacking minds want to know!

Thanx,
- NF

Anonymous said...

I'm a long time reader, first time poster. I was just wondering if you consider being a cop a worthwhile job. Do you enjoy the work?

Is it anything like "Third Watch"?

Phoenix Ravenflame said...

"Is it anything like "Third Watch"?"

I almost snorted Dr. Pepper up my nose when I read that! I don't know about law enforcement where LawDog is, but I've heard my dad tell enough stories over the years that either A) could never have made it on "Third Watch" because the writers know the audience would fall asleep, or B.) would never be allowed on "Third Watch" because network television has to at least pretend to have some standards.

Anonymous said...

"I almost snorted Dr. Pepper up my nose when I read that!"

Then my work here is done. I'm a amateur sit-down comic.