Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Please, sir, someone's hi-jacked my language and I'd like it back.

The term "fasting" -- from the Old English word f├Žstan -- means to abstain from food, or occasionally, to abstain from certain foods.

When used in the same sentence as the phrase "hunger strike" however, "fasting" means abstaining from food.

In other words, you don't eat, you get hungry, you lose your appetite, and then you jolly well turn up your tootsies and you die.

Simple.

Unless, of course, you are Cindy "Ghoul" Sheehan. On June 28th of this year, Cindy "The Vulture" Sheehan anounced with great fanfare that she was going on a hunger strike to encourage the Government to bring the troops home from the Middle East.

This led to some high spirits around here.

Alas, I should have known better. Whosis further announced that her fast would be from 07/04 until 09/02. Personally, here at Rancheria LawDog we feel that for maximum effect she should continue her fast until the troops come home, or she expires, whichever comes first.

Today, I have learned that the Ghoul and the Main Stream Media have lied to me. Again. Apparently a "hunger strike" doesn't include coffee with vanilla ice cream. Or smoothies. Or blended fruit juice with protein powder supplement.

I don't know which bloody planet that bimbo is from, but around here we call that "a diet", not a hunger strike.

Hell, if whazzername ever dumps the hairshirt, she could probably turn a tidy profit advertising it as a meal plan to her brain-dead buddies in Hollywood.

And it gets worse.

Would you believe that the barking moonbat idiots have invented something called a "Rolling Hunger Strike"?

You want to know how bad it is? Do you really want to know?

Apparently, if you take 14 morons, and you assign each one half of a day out of a certain week you can have a hunger strike for a full week without, you know, the hunger part.

Moron A doesn't eat on Monday before Noon. Moron B doesn't eat after noon on Monday.

On Tuesday, Moron C doesn't eat in the morning, while Moron D doesn't eat in the afternoon, so on and so forth.

Voila! A week-long hunger strike, yet no one has to go more than half of a day without food.

...

...

Are you bloody well KIDDING ME??! I don't believe this. I truly don't believe this.

Trust a fecking liberal to take one of the most hallowed weapons from Ghandi's arsenal and turn it into a cheap, plastic, sleazy, Hollywood joke.

"We want to have the emotional punch of a hunger-strike without actually, like, suffering for it."

Oh, karma is going to kick each one of your arses right up betwixt your shoulder blades for this one, I'm here to tell you. Amphibian manure is going to feel sorry for you next turn of the Wheel.

And Willie Nelson. Willie, Willie, Willie. You better check your stash, 'cause either the maid accidentally dumped cleaning fluid on it or the cat is using it for a litter box again.

What sort of hunger-strike is America's Numero Uno pothead going to accomplish? Huh? Swear off brownies for a day? Leave off confusing the window girl at Wendy's All Night Drive-Up for a week?

If I find out which day you're starting this, I swear to Shiva I'm going to FedEx a case of Doritos to your door.

Look at yourselves. All of you. Have you no shame? No pride in yourselves? You are laughingstocks. You are caricatures. No one takes you seriously. How the hell are we supposed to take a "rolling hunger strike" seriously? How?

Vanilla ice cream and coffee?! What the hell kind of deprivation is this? Where the hell is the shared hardship?

I've got some news for you: Yes, we're staring, but it's not the good kind of staring. It's not the "Oh, you're important" stare. No, my little feces-flinging pack of lower primates, the attention you are receiving is the "Oh my Gawd, what is that ... thing?" stare. You're just too damned self-absorbed and dumb to realize it. Yet.

And it's going to be a Bad Day when the lot of you discover that you're nothing but a stale freak-show. Except for you, Cindy. You're too bloody daft to ever figure it out.

"Hunger strike", my fuzzy arse.

LawDog

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like Ron White says, YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!
Dang, going two or three hours without food, what would REAL hungery poeple think about that.

Cybrludite said...

The only way these coffee-shop revolutionaries are going to experience real fasting is if they every do manage to start a civil war here. After all, not only do we already have most of the guns and most of the vets, but if you peek at a county-by-county election map, you'll see that we also control the parts of the country where the food comes from...

Anonymous said...

The corpse riding nutcase is now on a hunger strike.

Or not.

Ride that corpse you crazy bitch! Ride that corpse all the way to the bank! Fame and fortune await! Katie Couric is there with a mic in her hand just 'cuz you can ride that corpse so well! All of those Hollywood people want to fellate you corpse rider Sheehan!

Where's that kid with your vannilla ice cream latte? It's hard work this corpse riding!

Phoenix Ravenflame said...

Hmmm... I hadn't really considered the fact that "hunger strike" means "No food! Go hungry!" I was kinda busy pointing out that "Sparky" doesn't seem to realize fruit smoothies are not essential for survival.

Really, take pity on her. Being a mother is hard work, and I guess being the mother of a soldier that the President murdered is even harder. Sit-ins, marches, speeches, petitions... and you still have to keep up with what's on "Days of Our Lives" and have dinner on the table by 5:30. With that much going on, who's got time for a real hunger strike? You folks are so insensitive!

Anonymous said...

I don't believe anything most of the LoonyLeft says because I don't understand anything they say.

We've not been speaking a language with mutually-understood meanings for some time now.

I don't see that muffin-top of hers shrinking any time soon.

Cindi

Jeff the Baptist said...

Well it is a "rolling hunger strike" so maybe she was consuming said smoothies on one of her breaks while Danny Glover or Sean Penn was being hungry for her.

princewally said...

They need lessons in protesting.

From Buddhists.

I China and/or Tibet.

Self immolation makes a much bigger statement.

BarnGoddess said...

anon said:"Like Ron White says, YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!"

that sums it all up. I cannot stand that idiot woman sheenan....I hope one day soon she dries up and blows away, freakin wack.

Anonymous said...

One of my greatest dreads is the radical left will one day start acting normal. As long as they keep up this kind of crap exposing what they are, I figure just enough people will see the light.

Citizen H said...

What will they pull out of the hat next? Fasting by proxy? Paying some other dupe to go on hunger strike for you? Bobby Sands is spinning in his grave right now, I guar-on-tee you.

KCSteve said...

So LawDog, are you in the betting pool for how much weight she gains on her 'hunger strike'?

308Mike said...

Now if Cindy Sheehan performed a Self Immolation, then I might be impressed at least long enough to congratulate her on finally doing something right.

MarkF said...

Hey, this 'hunger strike' reflects the same dedication and support they give our troops. It is a mirror of the depth of commitment they feel toward every cause they triumph. It is the 'reality-based' answer to, well, you know - reality. Scrape away the thin veneer of vengeful protest and self(inflating) righteousness, and you find someone who at heart really feels they aren't getting the attention they deserve - because they are, well, speshul.
Philistines, all, slain daily by their own jawbones.

Anonymous said...

They are re-inventing Democracy, re-inventing our Society, why does it surprise you that they are re-inventing our language?

Jon said...

In the liberal dictionary, fasting means eating low calorie. It's the same as flying on private airlines to keep from riding in an SUV. It's all logical when your ability to reason is the same as a fungus.

Calico Jack said...

Well, I put away the best part of a pepperoni pizza last night, and I need to lose weight. Anyone care to join me in one of these rolling hunger strikes? Does morning coffee count? Can we just do it until I lose ten pounds or so?

Sailorcurt said...

Hey, this 'hunger strike'...is a mirror of the depth of commitment they feel toward every cause they triumph.

Absolutely.

What do you expect from people who experience life through the lenses of the people they pretend to be on TV and Movies?

They may never actually BE hungry, or actually sacrifice anything for a cause, or even truly understand the causes that they support...but they play someone who has on TV.

Some people are so sheep-like, if you keep telling them how special, and important and wise they are over and over again...eventually they begin to believe it.

Meanwhile, the rest of us just shake our heads in wonderment, chuckle a little and then get back to the business of making the world go 'round.

The Grouchy Old Yorkie Lady said...

Hey, there's a "diet" I've been dying to try. If I can get a few friends to help me out, I'll "diet" in the morning on alternate days and then I can tell my doctor in good conscience that I'm working on losing that weight he's concerned about.

Rico said...

I love your stuff.
I delight in your use of language.
I reposted some of your stuff on my blog (ricorant.blogspot.com) and linked your blog on my favorites.
But, as a speaker of the Mother Tongue, surely you can look up how to spell Gandhi correctly...
That's as bad as spelling Gurkha as Ghurka, dammit!