Thursday, July 13, 2006

You know, I'll bet they have meds for that.

I need some folks to check my thought process here:

*) Israel pulls out of Gaza.

*) A Palestinian terror group called Hamas digs a tunnel under a wall, invades Israel from Gaza, kills some Israeli soldiers and takes one Israeli soldier hostage.

*) The Israeli Army does what the Israeli Army does best and starts breaking things and killing people while looking for their missing crunchie.

*) Things rapidly begin to really suck in Gaza.

*) After watching all this go down on CNN and al-Jazeera, a Palestinian terror group named Hezbollah decides to invade Israel from Lebanon, kill some Israeli soldiers and -- upstaging Hamas -- taking two Israeli soldiers hostage.

*) The Israeli Army says, "Nae problemo" makes some modifications to plans, diverts some armament here and there and starts breaking things and killing people whilst looking for the other two troopies.

*) Things rapidly begin to really suck in Lebanon.

And it's all George Bush's fault.

WTF, over?

I'm not going to link to them, 'cause I don't want to have to wipe the spittle off my blog afterwards, but a quick look at Daily Kos informs us that this is obviously a neocon-BushCo plot.

Now, it seems to me that all the screaming, bleeding, exploding and dying wouldn't have happened if Hamas and Hezbollah had STAYED ON THEIR SIDES OF THE FRICKING BORDER!

And I'm willing to bet that if they were incapable of resisting the temptation to invade Israel, it probably wouldn't have been too great of a pickle if they had REFRAINED FROM KILLING FOLKS AND TAKING HOSTAGES!

So, why is this George Bush's fault? Is he blackmailing Hamas and Hezbollah into invading, killing and kidnapping?

Is he holding Hamas and Hezbollah family members hostage in the White House basement?

Is he using some kind of Manchurian Candidate -- excuse me -- Mesopotamian Candidate program to force Hamas and Hezbollah into invading, killing and kidnapping?

Poor little darlings wouldn't have invaded countries, killed folks and kidnapped hostages if it weren't for that EEEEEEE-vil mind-control powers of George Bush, is that it?

*blink, blink*

WTF are you people smoking? Did your mama's drop you on your collective little heads when you were born? Is that the excuse?

Listen to me. I'm sorry, but someone has to tell you the truth: You're nucking futs. You are what we refer to as "flat barking bugnuts", okay?

Please get help. Go talk to the nice doctors. I'll bet they've got pills that'll ease the monomaniacal obessions.

LawDog

15 comments:

Citizen H said...

Yeah, there's a medication for that. But I don't think their HMOs cover Thorazine.

Phoenix Ravenflame said...

They have medication for it now? I didn't know they were working on a cure for stupidity!

Anonymous said...

"Is he holding Hamas and Hezbollah family members hostage in the White House basement?"

I'm sure the "world community" would find it oh so scandalous, but that's one I could get behind.

BryanP said...

Unfortunately there are people who seem to feel the need to ascribe all evil to those they dislike. I'm not President Bush's number one fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't see how he can be blamed for this.

(note: Blaming people for things not their fault because you can't stand them is a failing I see from the right almost as much as the left.)

Titan Mk6B said...

If this is the fault of GWB I say.....GO FOR IT. Let loose the IDF Steamroller.

Diamondback said...

It never ceases to astound me how people are willing to believe the most ludicrous tinfoil hat conspiracy rather than the cold hard simple truth. It never fails that as soon as something dramatic happens, at least 2 dozen nut-bag ideas are presented as to why. Logic be damned.

Toothpick Johnny said...

It is time we let the Israelis loose. They have tried to co-exist, tried to negotiate, tried to be reasonable. Strike back hard.

Kimberly said...

The only cure of know of for this kind of stupidity involves men in white coats.

Let the Israelis do what they do best--deal with murdering anarchist thugs. Lord knows the UN and company lack the guts to do the job.

Vic303 said...

Frontal Lobotomy ought to solve the Libs problems...or maybe a Bottle In Front of Me...?

I know, let's just pith them!

Ed said...

I swear DailyKos has got a seriously degenerative mental disease going on. The foil hats are on a little too tight over at that site.

308Mike said...

They have medications for those in charge, which created the conditions at the beggining of this post. I'd recommend large doses of arsenic, cyanide, larkspur, strychnine, or even PURE nicotine.

As far as those who exhibit symptoms of being dropped on their heads at birth, a few whacks with a baseball bat *MAY* realign the neurons to correct functioning, but there's no guarantee since they've been mis-firing for so long that it's possible they are beyond external help. Placing them in DIRECT contact with those at the beginning of the post for an extended period of time may bring a dramatic change in attitude.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Kos:

http://www.theothersideofkim.com/index.php/tos/single/just_as_i_thought/

Papa Ray said...

I hold George W. responsible, his Dad and Clinton.

Why,

Because they didn't take care of Iran and Syria (and Iraq).

If they had, these terrorist groups would not even still be in existance.

But the children always pay for the mistakes of their parents.

Of course, we should have bombed the UN and wiped up their remains thirty years ago.

That would have solved a lot of problems.

And saved a world of money.

Papa Ray
West Texas
USA

Papa Ray said...

Oh...I forgot Reagan, he has responsibility in this mess too.

Papa Ray

Anonymous said...

Hell, if it wasn't fucking up the price of oil I'd tell the Russians to pick a side and we'd pick a side and arm the shit out of and let 'em duke it out. Hopefully this culminates in both sides killing each other off. The arabs/muslims are batshit nuts and nothing but a constant problem and the israelis deceitful bastards who are a constant thorn in the side who never pass up an opportunity to stab us in the back whenever they get the chance. Nothing would be as sweet as to be rid of both sides.

Hey maybe we'll get lucky and Iran and Israel will go nuclear batshit and turn the whole area into a nice glowing parking lot. Hell, if you want to get really Machiavellian about it build a few dozen high yield untraceable thermonuclear weapons to covertly start tossing around on less than friendly high density population centers in the event of a general nuclear exchange in the middle east. Pin the ensuing carnage on Israel. They'll all be floating somewhere in the upper atmosphere anyway and lord knowns they'd have no reservations about screwing us if they saw a strategic opportunity (just ask the crew of the USS Liberty). We could make the proper wailings about it after we just incinerated several hundred million potential terrorists. Hey don't look at us...it was them crazy Israelis. You shouldn't started swappin' nukes with 'em. They weren't just talking smack with all of that "never again" jibber jabber. We didn't know they had a bunch of 25 megaton city busting thermonuclear bombs. We got some pretty cool before and after pics from our satellites though...wanna see? Keep them airburst so they'd be fairly clean and maximize the killing potential. Hopefully someone in the Pentagon or CIA basement is working on that.

Afterwards we'll be rid of two pains in the ass and we can have Halliburton go in and start drilling through the glass to get to the oil.