One of the things that big city folks don't quite understand, is that the local peace officers know all about your social habits.
We know who belongs to which car, we know which house each car belongs to and we know which house everyone lives in.
We know which houses have college kids living in them for the semester. We know which house belongs to the local courtesan, which one has the weed, where to find the facilitator of item relocation, and the domiciles of the folks that are liable to shoot first and question after the sun comes up.
And, one of the lesser-known parts of being a small town peace officer is the fact that we develop a ... thorough ... knowledge of the local alleys.
Since we aren't exactly gormless, if a car belonging to a forty-something-year-old married man starts winding up being parked in the alley behind a house whose only occupant is a 20-year-old college co-ed, we get a glimmer of a notion concerning what is probably going on.
If we find the above car parked in the above alley behind the above house three nights a week past four-in-the-A-M, we know exactly what's going on.
Now, some folks would opine that peace officers don't go spreading this information because of some Peace Officer Code of Honour, or some silly-arsed notion about being Guardians of The Public Trust, innate sense of fair play, or other bushwa.
The reason we don't jump up on a table at the local feed trough and tell the entire town that you're playing pat-and-tickle with a girl the same age as your eldest daughter, is that we're the ones who are going to have to clean up that mess.
And that mess is probably going to require paperwork. Overtime. People going to jail. Depositions. Might wind up under the attention of a Grand Jury. General hate and discontent to spare, that sort of thing.
That is why we don't blab everything we know: we're lazy and we don't want to deal with the extra work.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
What else do we have ...
In other small town news, the preachermullah of the local Shi'a Baptist Church has apologized profusely to my mother regarding the existence of a "Lost List", promised to diligently work to ensure that this sort of behavior not ever happen under his stewardship again, and swore that Mom's name wouldn't ever wind up anywhere near any of the lists that his congregation wouldn't ever be publishing again.
Now, that was a downright neighborly and honourable thing to do, don't y'all think?