By way of Cybercast News Service, we discover that Senator Ted "Frogman of the Chappaquiddick" Kennedy may have conspired, colluded and collaborated with the Soviet Union to defeat the President of the United States.
Blogs quickly picked up on this story.
I want this story checked and re-checked, verified and re-verified. I don't give a tinker's damn how much money it costs. Once every living soul who might have gotten anywhere near this letter has been vetted, I want twenty sodding mediums with Ouija boards hunting down Andropov's rat-arsed soul.
IF this story is true -- IF, IF, IF -- then I want testimony. In public.
IF there are verified, bona fide witnesses, I want them to testify on the bloody Capitol steps in front of EVERY -STINKING- BODY.
IF a sitting US Senator conspired with our enemies to defeat the President, I want every news network, every cable channel, every radio station, EVERY - STINKING - BODY IN THE PRESS with their sodding feet nailed to the sodding Capitol steps.
IF this story is true, I want Senator Ted Kennedy hung by the neck from the rafters of the Capitol Building until he is bugger-all dead, dead, DEAD.
And then he is to remain hanging there, with his toes dragging on Congressional desks until the end of this Session of Congress as a warning to the rest of the Congress-critters to NOT DO THIS CRAP!
This act -- IF he did it -- was treason. Is treason. Period. Full stop. End of statement.