Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Update.

Sorry to be so scatter-brained and intermittent with my postings, but things have gone a bit rodeo here at Rancho LawDog.

As some of you have surmised, the Nana Situation has come to something of a head and we're having to make a choice. It's come to the point that we're having to decide not
if we should institutionalize Nana, but rather, which facility would be best for everyone.

As one might guess, this isn't the easiest choice I've ever had to make.

I think Chris said it best when he observed, "Not all of Nana came back from that last surgery."

Her mind -- for a woman four months short of her 100th birthday -- is still good. Mostly. She gets foggy as to time and place occasionally, but who wouldn't?

Her personality, I'm afraid, has taken a complete 180 sea-change. And the new Nana is more than we can put up with.

So. Nana needs a place less of a nursing home, but a bit more than assisted living, and the centres that we have in this area just are not acceptable to me.

Nana has kin down in the DFW metroplex -- while Nana is the last of eight siblings, there are absolutely scads of in-laws, along with the expected nieces and nephews scattered about Dallas-Ft. Worth.

Plus, DFW is large enough to have facilities of the kind I have in mind, as well as a choice of facilities.

We have been phoning, e-mailing and googling left, right and centre and it looks like we have have finally settled upon a facility.

Of course Old Man Murphy (who hates my guts -- personally) decided that this wasn't enough upon my plate, so the Sheriff's Office decided to change from 8-hour shifts to 12-hour shifts.

You simply would not believe how bloody complicated that simple little sentence above could become.

I am also considering a move closer to DFW so that I can be near Nana. I realize that everyone down there is kin -- but still. I'm not moving anywhere in DFW -- because I simply can't breathe inside a city -- but maybe an hour or abouts away. Close enough to visit regularly and get there in an emergency, but far enough away that there's breathable air.

So, I've been a wee bit frantic for a while, but have faith. I'll be back to normal fairly quickly. Or as "normal" as I ever get, anyway.

LawDog

25 comments:

njmedic1485 said...

Law Dog,

Sorry to hear about Nana, the decision to place a loved one in a nursing home is so hard, and no amount of research is ever going to completely put you at ease. I have found that the folks who get the best care in those places are the ones with families that are in regular and unscheduled contact with the home. It would also behoove you to contact the local EMS for the home you are considering and get their impression of the place.
Best of Luck!

prairie mary said...

Regular contact from someone does seem to be key. If no relative is able to do it, sometimes it's a good investment to hire someone on the same wave length to act on the family's behalf.

This stage of life is hard on everyone, but I suspect that Nana would want to bear as much as she can for you.

Prairie Mary

Mr. Fixit said...

I wish you and your family the best.

I lost my Grandfather in December. He was just not able to be at home with Grandmom. The family had to find a facility. It was the hardest decision we ever made.

Take as much time with Nana as you can.

I second NJMedic's opinion. Regular and unscheduled visits by family will keep the staff on their toes regarding your loved one. Also, if possible, do contact the local EMS or Fire Dept. to get an opinion of the 'behind the scenes' at the various facilities.

If you are considering anywhere near my part of the area, I'd be glad to offer an opinion, or possibly know someone who might offer one.

Regards,

Mr Fixit

redneckrepairs said...

I know personaly how rough this can be , I will light a candle for you and yours . Nana will fare better than all the kids who are sweating the choices tho lol .
Redneckrepairs

phlegmfatale said...

Wishing you the best at this difficult time.

OldeForce said...

My Nana punched out the woman in the room with her at the private nursing home we'd placed her in, when it became all too clear she couldn't stay at home any longer. Nana liked to read [Catch-22 when she was over 80]and the other woman wouldn't turn down the TV. Fortunately, Nana had worked at a county facility that had room for her. [Surprise, this place was better kept than any private nursing home I'd ever been in.] Some of the staff had been trained by her, as they started and she retired. We were lucky...
Prayers, for you and yours, from all of the OldeForce Family.

Warthog said...

Best wishes to the law dog family in these tough times.

Holler if you need anything.

Anonymous said...

As a potential relocation destination, may I suggest the lovely & charming hamlet of DeLeon, TX? It's close enough to the Metroplex to get there if you need to, there's plenty o' room to breathe, land is cheap, and there are good folks there.

DW said...

Sorry Law Dog, my thoughts, and prayers are with you. Been to those places too many times. Never found one I would put my dog in. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your current troubles. While there isn't much we can do for you physically, this house full of fans can, and will, pray for you.

A Soldier's Girl said...

Prayers for you and your family, LD.

Hobie said...

I wish you the best with Nana. I'm having some of the same issues with my mom and she's nowhere near 100, only 73, and I can really sympathize.

dracphelan said...

Sorry to hear about that. I remember going through this with my Nana-in-law.

Jared said...

Dog, you and yours are in my prayers.

We came very close to having to make the same decision in February, when my mother required neurosurgery due to bleeding on the brain. During the first week, she experienced auditory hallucinations and paranoia.

She's recovered from that, but her blood pressure is touch and go, and our family is giving her 24-hour care to manage the BP. I don't know how long we'll be able to keep that up and whether we'll have to revisit our earlier decision.

This is a struggle that so many of us have to go through.

Omnibus Driver said...

Sending up prayers for you, Nana and the rest of your family.

KCSteve said...

Best wishes for you, Nana, and the whole clan.

In addition to all of the other suggestions, a visit in full gear early on (and perhaps occasionally thereafter) might be a good idea, just to plant the seed of 'be nice to her' in the occasional new hire.

OT: the verify wants me to type 'gvuwmnt' which to me sounds like some weird baby bunny version of government. Not sure if it amuses me or disturbs me.

Anonymous said...

Lawdog, I don't know where in west Texas you live but have you looked at San Angelo? We have a lot of facilities and it may be closer(?) than DFW. Just a thought. My hubby is a lawdog too, and I love the new law with regards to the civil part. Score one for the good guys!

Michael said...

My condolences. My own nana had to be moved into a nursing home and it was a tough, but necessary, choice. Fortunately it was relatively close and we could all visit frequently. The most difficult part was visiting and having her mistake who I was, or not remember me at all. Take comfort in any happy times you are still able to have with her.

Prayers for you and your family.

Ulises from CA said...

Lawdog,
Sometimes surgeries take out more than the odd vital organ. The chemicals will also deplete the body's store of essential vitamins. B-complex vitamins are prone to loss in the brain as people age & after some medical procedures. This deficiency can affect one's attitude and cognition equally.

Perhaps discussing a lack of such vitamins & the effects of some of her meds on her brain's metabolization of such can help you decipher what's happening to Nana's erstwhile sharp brain.

Prayers, of course.

Eric said...

Lawdog,

I have been through exactly this and can offer advice to specific questions, if you want. We put my grandmother in an 'Alzheimers home' which is exactly like it sounds. Everyone there was certified by the state to provide nursing care to all patients, but not a nursing home setting, more of a frat house with OLDER students. It may be something you can look into, it worked very well for us.

As to the relocation, I think the local PD is hiring because the area is about to boom. There are 4 guys that patrol our area, they get OT for this and I have met all but one. Nice guys... I am 22 minutes from downtown Dallas but in a VERY rural setting.

On any other blog board I would hesitate to put my email address but I feel okay here.

Stetson_US@yahoo.com - if you have any questions

Anonymous said...

'Dog,

There is a really good place on Park just east of Preson in Plano,

I'll have the addr and etc tomorrow night.
cant find it right now.

Sorry to hear about Nana, she is in our prayers.

r

Anonymous said...

that was on Park east of Preston

my typing worse than my speelling

r

Melissa said...

LD,
I am so sorry to hear about Nana.
I do not comment often, but await your updates with baited breath.
The Denton / Aubrey area is nice. Close enough to the insanity of Dallas when you need to go, but far enough away so you can still breathe!

Anonymous said...

'Dog,

Maximum mea culpa, took a bit dig up the name, it has changed, however I finally drove around and did find the joint this time.

Life Care of Plano,

web site www dot LCCA dot com slash
plano.

When you walk in, it is more like walking into a apartment building than a "retirement home"

'jo bob griggse' voice Check it out

end 'jo bob'

r

Mike said...

Mr. Lawdog,
Enjoy your posts, but really your philosophy; you make a lot of sense.
On the (hate to call it an old folk's home) living facility, we went thru that with Grandpa in the last few years. He was with grandma in a larger retirement facility here in Denton, and after she passed away, he took up with a little "friend" who damn near killed him. He used Bob Dole as a role model, and, um... had a pretty good time until he ran out of gas. I'm in a forensic field, and had her checked out by every agency that I have access to, and since he was of sound mind, nothing we could do. The ages involve were 84- 28; after he almost died, we found that the big facility did almost nothing (with the exception of the security guard at the gate who saw gramps passed out in the car as she drove him back to dump him at his apt. and called 911). I looked hard and found:http://www.carriagehouseofdenton.com/
Not too bad of a place, and close to US380. I dropped in at all hours to scope out things, and it was ok, and the old coot loved the food. so it worked out until the end for him. Nothin's perfect in these kind of things, but you may want to look.
Good luck sir.