Tuesday, May 06, 2008

We Interrupt ...

... your regularly scheduled blog reading for this important announcement:

The official e-mail address for this blog and its author may be found under the "View my complete profile" on the left side of this page.

When I e-mail someone, I will use one of four possible e-mail addresses: the gmail address mentioned above; one other gmail address with my real name; my county email address which contains my real name and the county I work for; or (very rarely) a SearchMalta address.

I do not have a yahoo e-mail address, nor do I have a hotmail address.

That being said, I'd like to discuss a facet of my personality which seems to have missed at least one critter out there:

Off line, I am an extremely private person. I do not, will not, nor have I ever casually announced to a complete stranger that I am the author of this blog -- no matter how cute she is.

My blog does not
ever come up in casual conversation with anyone other than those I consider kith and kin. That means family and close friends. Period.

More to the point, I will not use the fact that I am the author of this blog in an effort to further unwanted romantic advances upon anyone -- ever.

If you are the subject of unwanted romantic or sexual attention by an officer -- contact the Internal Affairs division of his department and contact the head of his agency.

If the officer is using my blog, my words, and my on-line identity in his pursuit -- contact the Internal Affairs division of that department, contact the head of the agency, and then send me an e-mail and you can bet your last biscuit that at least one thing is going to get settled.

Now.

If you are reading this blog, and you are considering claiming it, or any part of it, as yours for
any kind of gain -- material, immaterial, sexual, financial, psychological or otherwise -- you'd best pray to whatever gods you worship that I never find out that you have.

That is all.

LawDog

35 comments:

Citizen H said...

There has to be a story behind this. WTFO? Who could possibly be that daft?

Paul-Michael Bauer said...

Ok. Then would you at least consider "renting" your identity and blog to others for the purposes of claiming it, or any part of it, as theirs for gain?

;-)

*seriously*
Wow. Sounds like somebody really took the low road. I hope he's caught.

Hammer said...

I'm wondering who would have the audacity to claim they were you in order to gain favor with the opposite sex.

Well I hope whomever it is has some asbestos undies.

Peter said...

Just as long as he hasn't got a letter from Harry in San Francisco, describing their time together . . .

*gigglesnort!*

SpeakerTweaker said...

There's some real scum out there.

I hope that whatever incident that generated the need for this post doesn't have any negative effects on it's author.



tweaker

fuzzys dad said...

I hope you find this scum. So he can be dealt with harshly.

X_LA_Native said...

I hope that whatever incident that generated the need for this post doesn't have any negative effects on it's author.

Second that.

.
And I'm curious what the story is, but I yield to the discretion of the blog author.

pdwalker said...

Well Drat! There goes my unfailable plan for getting lucky.

(seriously though, what kind of scum would do that!?)

Evil Lunch Lady said...

WTF?!? That's scary! Very very scary:(

Hope that person meets a bus at close range:)

Yikes!

D.W. Drang said...

I suppose it was inevitable.
OTOH, I cannot imagine a young lady who reads this blog, being so naive she would fall for such a line.
Makes me glad no one reads my blog.
Well, almost...

Lonestar Gal said...

I wish I could say I was surprised or shocked. But, after years of having seen over and over the lengths to which a scumbag will go to gain access to a woman's center, be she willing or not, not much surprises me anymore.
Sorry that YOUR talent is being exploited for this one's effort.

CrankyProf said...

You're kidding me, right?

Someone is pretending to be you, and aggressively wooing the weemuns in your name?

Geez, 'Dawg.

some gamer said...

I confess! I have used some of your tales from the patrol car as insperation and fodder for a character I play in a tabletop roleplaying game.

I've never claimed to be you. That's just weird.

X_LA_Native said...

Not to make a sweeping generalization about the distaff persuasion (of which I'm one), but you'd think to a discriminating lass there'd be a disconnect between the language usage/cadence of the poseur and the putative author of this blog.

.
Or is that too fine a distinction?

djmoore said...

Wow. The scary thing here, if I'm reading LD aright, is that this isn't Sum Dude off the street-- it's a fellow officer, a guy with a badge and a gun, an Only One. Or was. I hope he isn't, anymore, or that I'm misreading the post.

Anonymous said...

The Dog better hope I don't find out who this critter is first, and I'm a lot more familiar with the town in question than he is. Even have some kinnery there.
I raised my kids overseas at a time when permissiveness wasn't on the board. It never is with me; nor are excuses, blames, and compromises. This is NOT the way to raise a child, but unfortunately, it seems to be the American Way of late.
Dog and Templeton are decent human beings; they don't smoke, rarely drink, don't do drugs, and don't 'do' women. And if they ever do, they'd better hope I'm paralytic.
The critter officer's claiming to be the Dog is a slur on the Dog's honor and upbringing, which I view with considerable prejudice. Since I am that upbringing, it's a reflection on self, to which I do not take kindly.
There are some ancient Anasazi torture techniques......
LawMom

Jay G said...

Uh oh. They've PO'd the lawmom.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Seriously, this stinks on ice. Here's hoping this gets resolved to your satisfaction most rikki-tik.

Hopefully involving scorpions and/or red ants...

bigdaddyb said...

It is my sincere hope and prayer that whomever this was directed will have a face-to-face meeting with the 'real' LawDog and no witnesses.

Rick said...

Well put, LawMom. BTW, I'm thinking that you and my mother were instructed on how to raise children from the same book. "No excuses." 'Nuff said right there.

LD, I, on occaision, re-iterate one of your stories to friends or family, but I have always given you the credit. Usually by telling them how to find your blog and "go read it yourself, he tells a much better story than I do."

I have laughed from your humor and wit. I have cried when your words touched my heart. I consider you a true gentleman, and the keeper of one of the better places in cyberspace.

As to those who would sully your name and reputation... I cannot think of a punishment fitting for that crime. May you be the one who catches them in the act.

Matt G said...

I am 5 by five clear on the message, just curious about the impetous.

Ah well, you would have told me I needed to know, and I doubt that it came to attention before our Saturday conversation.

Black Ice said...

Since the critter in question obviously reads this blog, I hope he reads the comments as well.

OPEN LETTER TO THE FAUX-DOG:

You, sir, must be the most pathetic wretch I've ever heard of. Stealing someone's identity in any way is dishonorable and wrong for whatever reason...but to impress a girl? My gods, even a junior high school kid would view that as the mark of an absolute loser. If you're constantly being shot down (I don't think there's any 'if' about it) due to your lack of personality, the correct solution is to build one of your own. You can't take pride in feats that aren't yours, no matter how you try to deceive yourself otherwise. And deep down, you know it.

All you've really done is to make a fine Peace Officer and his friends, fans and family highly irate with you. Fire up that one dusty synapse and think about it, and you may begin to get the barest glimmer of how much doo-doo you've stepped in. People who love the LawDog, now despise you greatly; and you, sir, are not the 'Dog--no matter how desperately you wish to be.

From the reactions posted so far, I've no doubt you'll soon be tracked down and unmasked. I hope your eventual humiliation spreads to the far corners of the civilized world, and perhaps you'll learn the folly of your behavior.

And if you really are a cop, you are a monumental disgrace to your badge.

----

Rant off. Good wishes and good luck to the LawFamily.

Karla (threadbndr) said...

Gotta be a back story to this.....

Hope you can share it some day....

Anonymous said...

Scorpions and red ants? Nah. Ravenous field mice and/or rattlesnakes are much more to my liking.
LM

Diamond Mair said...

LawMom, one COULD utilize those denizens known as fire ants - put the subject critter in 4- or 5-point restraints {nude, of course} and drop the fire ants on his ...................... 'nether regions' {YOU KNOW - the ones he was HOPING to convince some "sweet young thing" belonged to your son?} ....................... or, you could always adapt MY plan for Osama bin Laden : http://oneroughdiamond.blogspot.com/2007/02/specially-for-dw.html

;-)

Semper Fi'
DM

Stray-arc said...

I love how you tell a story without telling a story. Tell us more Unca Law Dog!!!

"gunner" said...

someone impersonating the dawg? that sounds like terminal aggravated stupidity to me. best the critter, whoever it might be, dig a very deep hole and pull it in over himself. it would save a lot of time and bother
"gunner"

"gunner" said...

evil lunch lady,
i'm hoping whoever is trying to steal the dawg's good name ends up french kissing a chrome plated bulldog at 80 mph.
"gunner"

Kelly(Mom of 6) said...

Law Mom is my new hero.

Anonymous said...

I don't see how any woman of taste and refinement could mistake the faux-Dog for the real thing.

Hope you catch the poseur soon Mr. Dog. I recommend a multitude of paper cuts and a bath in lemon juice for the miscreant.

Ky Person

Sir Guido Cabrone, LC said...

'Dawg, that sort of s**t is a bit beyond the pale...

Hope you can fill in the details one of these fine days for us.

(although I must confess to a certain amount of jealousy here, since nobody ever wants to be ME!)

Nyx said...

I can't say I've ever imagined you being as smooth as your writing except for if you were with close friends and family. I've always gotten the feeling that you'd be rather reserved, but in a cordial way, around people you've never met before. Which means I can't imagine you using the fact that you write this blog to puff yourself up in front of a woman. And I can't imagine any woman who'd fall for something like that being the sort of woman who regularly reads your blog. The whole idea seems terribly flawed. If it weren't such a serious matter, I'd just sit and laugh at how stupid this critter must be.

Cybrludite said...

My own thoughts for a suitable punishment for the Faux-Dog would require the services of a morally-flexible neurosurgeon and a long term care facility with a certain tolerance for... non-traditional treatments. And let's just leave it at that, shall we? (Cue Mad Scientist laugh)

Like Some Gamer, I've used the stories & personas from here & in the "Perspectives" series as background material for my personal use. (As part of a game setting to inflict on my players, though, and not so much for my PCs)

X_LA_Native said...

Oh dear, since we're coming clean about which of the Dog's stories we've used for inspiration...I have to admit "The Rise and Fall of the Nigerian Space Program" has given me several ideas for dealing with the damn 'dillo that keeps tearing my lawn up.
Aside from the obvious ballast problems, forget the fact that my husband is resolute in NOT letting me anywhere near our stash of black powder...

bogie said...

Jeeze, 'dog... Do we have a mall ninja trying to pick up chicks by posing as YOU? He better have red hair and copious freckles... and not a lot of life expectancy...

Anonymous said...

Wow! Someone must be terminally stupid to pi$$ off someone like the LawDog.

After all - who would mess with someone who . . .

. . .

. . .

Skinned PINKY!!!