Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Crows and buzzards got families to feed.

Of the ten known suspects in the Mumbai atrocity, nine got their fuzzy butts thumped from this mortal coil by various representatives of the Indian security forces.

I wake up this morning to discover news that warms the cockroaches of my savage little heart: USA Today and the Times Online report that the local Muslim graveyard in Mumbai is refusing to bury the little bugsnipes.

Apparently the cemetery that did the refusing has enough influence that the seven other Muslim graveyards in Mumbai probably aren't going to accept the carcasses, either; and the Australian is reporting that the Muslim Council of India is refusing to allow burial anywhere on Indian soil -- Mumbai or not.

You have no idea how much that makes me giggle.

The Indian Government is now having to decide what to do with the carcasses.

We here at The LawDog Files are of the opinion that scavengers gotta eat, too. Dump the meat on a convenient hilltop and let Mother Nature take over.

If the sight of dead murderers being, well --
useful -- might be considered a tad upsetting for sensitive eyesight, then Mumbai has that lovely ocean view -- and probably some excess chain and cinderblocks needing using.

The local sea critters would probably be most appreciative -- and five fathoms down should certainly be well out of view of even the most squeamish.

LawDog

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are there any hog farms in the area?

Anonymous said...

The Bombay-based Parsee community should probably consulted over any plans to expose these goons to scavengers- look up 'Tower of Silence'. Zoroastrians in that neck of the woods practice exposing their dead to local vultures (whose numbers, by-the-by, are declining, probably due to the use of antibiotics in stock animals- vultures, that is, not Parsees).
Wrap 'em in chickenwire and hoy them into the oggin.

DomH

jimbob86 said...

"Are there any hog farms in the area?"

Better than my first thought: "Five fathoms" for the surviving terrorist.

J.R.Shirley said...

Heave 'em in...

Poorva said...

There's evidence that the bastards who did this were from Pakistan, were *trained* by Pakistani military.

I say let them jettison the carcasses over the border and let the Pakis take care of their own damn mess.

Outbreak said...

The bottom feeders would indeed be appreciative and make quick work of the carcases...and the survivor as well.

Riposte3 said...

I'm all for gibbeting, or just putting their heads on pikes at the docks.

Mike W. said...

"Are there any hog farms in the area?"

Ah man, what sell respecting pig would eat them? On the other hand, if you were to wrap them in a pig skin and dump them in the briny blue...

Jared Nedzel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MiniKat said...

This is why my husband and I adore you, LawDog. You make a very good point with feeding the corvids and buzzards. They need to eat like any other creature.

Personally I'm for heaving them into the drink for the underwater scavengers to pick them clean. That way no good people have to smell what's left.

El Capitan said...

To quote from The Outlaw Josey Wales:

"I wish we had time to bury them fellows."

"Hell with them fellows. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms."

I just wish I was close enough to spit a stream of tobacco juice in their face as a last sendoff...

Deputy Polarbear said...

I'm with a couple of the other posters.....Wrap them all (including the survivor) in pigskins and drop them in the ocean

Matt G said...

I was thinking about the Towers Of Silence, too, Dom.

ajdshootist said...

I think they should feed their body's to pigs then later kill the pigs and mix the meat in with some spicy goat stew they feed any Muslim Prisoners.

Kelly(Mom of 6) said...

(giggle)

John Stephens said...

Public exhibition works for me, too. Slap on a coat of tar first, they last longer that way.

The Streetsweeper Chronicles said...

I vote for tossing 'em in the deep five!

wolfwalker said...

Disposal at sea sounds appropriate.

Full fathom five let the vermin lie.
Of their bones be coral made
Those are pearls that were their eyes
From living memory let them fade
and soon enjoy a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
As sea-nymphs hourly ring their knell:
Ding-dong.
Hark! now I hear them — Ding-dong, bell.

(with apologies to the Bard)

A Texan said...

"Are there any hog farms in the area?"

I've got to go with that option, with a twist: once the hogs are done, uh, processing the carcasses, send the fully processed bodies back to their families in Pakistan.

At least then the mfers will have something to be upset about.

Mikael said...

In other news, it was first reported that multiple terrorists were apprehended, but then suddenly there was only one surviving terrorist, this could mean it was a false flag operation, as the others were quietly disposed of for knowing too much.

Wordverification: nitchest

Sarah (pointypen.com) said...

I happen to like carcass-stalking birds. Their scavenging practices are kind of gruesome, sure, but they definitely keep my woods carcass free.

That's why I'm against feeding the terrorist corpses to those poor birds. What did they do to deserve that, LawDog? They're useful creatures, unlike the dead terrorists. Birds'll probably catch the syphilis that's rotting their diseased brains, you know.

I say India throws all the bodies into septic tanks. Let the Indian population, quite literally, poo-poo on them for the next several months while the bacteria in the tanks slowly consume what's left of the a-holes.

SpeakerTweaker said...

I'm gonna have to roll with Sarah on this one. The idea of literally shitting on terrorists until the corpses biodegrade gives me warm and fuzzy feelings.

I will disagree with Sarah on one point, though. I'd wager that none of the terrorists were carrying syphilis. They were prolly saving themselves for 72 virgins (who are, with any luck, a bunch of ugly dudes;)



tweaker

Charles said...

Many of your readers have missed something important. Islam requires that the dead be buried within a day, if they are to be properly honored.

Refusal of _any_ muslim cemetary to accept them means that they will be dishonored both in this life, and in the hereafter, according to their own tenets.

Anonymous said...

Choice one - towers of silence. Second choice - pig skin shroud and drop them over the offices of the LeT.
LittleRed1

Jeff Miller said...

"Are there any hog farms in the area?"

Beat me to it.

Charles, good point.

I've heard some Indians calling for a Ghandian approach to dealing with terrorism. I just can't see that working.

Jim w. said...

Debating what to do with the bodies is missing the point, they're DEAD. A proper response would be to find out where they came from in Pakistan and kill some more.

Letting the residents call Bombay "Mumbai" is a sign that the rot has set in. Return the Raj.

bedlamite said...

Chum. Sharks gotta eat, same as buzzards.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sarah.
LawMom

Recovering Grady Addict said...

Does anyone see the dark humor in feeding Muslim Terrorists to PIGS?

Maybe pigs have their own practice of being "Kosher", and don't eat Musilms?

AaronE said...

deep fry in LARD and feed to the dogs.

mousseman said...

Maybe there's something better.

Get nine barrels half-full with pig offals and grease.

Stuff the tango carcasses into these barrels and weld them shut.

And then send them off to a dump site for mildly radioactive trash.

Rorschach said...

I rather like Vlad the Impaler's solution to the problem...with a twist. Make sure and use lard for the lubricant.

tanksoldier said...

What are you tryin' to do? Poison the vultures?

P said...

With the aspersion the Muslim faith has on soles of the, animal dung and the like, lets dump the bodies into a redi mix truck and make them be sidewalks, so that their families can remember them as something that got walked on, spat on, shat on and what ever else one does on a sidewalk in that part of the world.

Anonymous said...

Just like coyotes; hang the corpses at the Paki border crossings.

Mike Van Pelt said...

Wow... This story does warm my heart.

I've observed, over the years, that whatever vile atrocities get committed by some Muslim fanatic, the criticism of that atrocity by the allegedly moderate Muslim community has been ... not exactly overwhelming. Along the lines of "Well, of course, that was a bad thing, and very wrong, and contrary to the tenets of Islam, but..."

And the moment the word "but" comes out of their mouth, I say "Yeah, right."

A unified stand by all Indian Muslims refusing to give these slime a Muslim burial... Maybe the Muslims (in India, anyway) have finally figured out that there's a cancer at the heart of their religion, and if they don't take care of it, the "infidel" world may just decide they're left with no choice but to take permanent care of the problem themselves one fine day.

And none of us, I hope, wants that.

Anonymous said...

The fault doesn't lie with Islam: it lies with the fanatics which chose to twist a beautiful and wise religion to suit their own violent ends.
Unfortunately, there are always those, in any religion or civilization, who walk around with a chip on their shoulders just waiting for the slightest breeze to touch it.
LawMom

Jeff Miller said...

LawMom,

Well said.

As a Unitarian, I've studied Islam as well as other religions. Have the terrorists even read their own books?

Of course, I have the same questions to some purported Christians as well.

Anonymous said...

If they turn out to be pakistani trained, then I'm all for sending them back to pakistan, just load them in a practice bomb case and have the pilot do an idiots toss just at the border......

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