The scene: A teeny-tiny office in North Texas. A map of the United States covers one wall, and LawDog is currently measuring a route betwixt Bugscuffle, Texas and PaddlefasterIhearbanjos, NotTexas.
Enter, stage left, Baby Officer, snarfing a Cretaceous honey bun, recently excavated from the depths of the office snack vending machine.
Baby Officer: "Whatchadoin'?"
LawDog: "We're picking up one of our critters in some godforsaken hole in a corner of NotTexas that I've never been, so I want to have a good feel for the route. You do realize that honey buns aren't supposed to -- you know -- crunch?"
Baby Officer (crunching happily): "I'm young, I gotta cast-iron stomach. You do know that the Sheriff bought a GPS for these trips, right?'
LawDog: "Yes, I did hear that. Weren't you using said GPS unit when you went to Tyler by way of Waco last year?"
Baby Officer (shrugging): "Nah, that was one of your fellow dinosaurs. He didn't enter the destination information properly -- Garbage In, Garbage Out."
LawDog: "I like my maps. Look, they're even laminated."
Baby Officer (rolling eyes): "Okay, Lewis Clark, have it your way. I'll go grab the paperwork and the vehicle."
LawDog (yelping at Baby Officers retreating back): "AND Clark! Lewis AND Clark! Two different people!"
Scene closes with LawDog firmly removing the Garmin GPS unit from it's Cordura case, lofting it into the open filing cabinet, and authoritatively slamming the file shut while muttering sulphurously.
The scene: The interior of a standard police cruiser, some distance away from the Bugscuffle County Sheriff's Office. LawDog is in the shotgun seat, staring in disbelief as Baby Officer manages (more or less) to drive, text on a cell phone, and pound down a 64-oz Cappuccino Mongo Shake from Giblets Coffee House and Cafe -- all at the same time.
Baby Officer (attempting to lick the last bits of sugary caffeine goodness from the bottom of the half-gallon barrel): "Ey! Eb geb Gee Pee Ess oug!"
LawDog: "That's not a feed-bag and the last drop will do fine without you. I swear to Shiva -- when your heart jumps out of your chest and starts vibrating down the road, I am not picking it up. Now what did you say, in English this time?"
Baby Officer (slightly manic grin): "Whoo, that's good stuff. Pass me the Garmin, wouldja? Hey! It's not in here!"
LawDog (piously): "Goodness. I do believe this here is a Teaching Opportunity in the Arcane Art of LandNav. Now, this here is what we call 'a map'..."
Baby Officer: "Hold on, I got the GPS app for my iPhone. Give me a sec ... yep ... here it is ... how do you spell, 'PaddlefasterIhearbanjos' ... dude, stop banging your head on the dashboard!"