By way of Peter over at Bayou Renaissance Man we discover Roman-X Mechanized Chariot Racing.
Oh, sweet zombie Jeebus, do I want.
"Bugscuffle County Sheriff's Office."
"Yes, is the Sheriff in?"
"Sheriff, this is Major Payne of the Texas Dept of Public Safety down here in Abilene, and I'd like to report one of your deputies passing one of my troopers on I-20."
Deep sigh. "How fast was he going?"
"'Bout fifty MPH, Sheriff. In a chariot."
"Hell, what are you boys griping about, that's under the speed ... do what?"
"Yes, sir. We're pretty sure he's one of yours, because he's got a Bugscuffle County Sheriff's Office badge welded to his centurion's helmet."
"We thought the battery-powered strobes were a nice touch, Sheriff."
"Got a bit of a problem with the inmate tied to the front of the thing, though."
Yet more silence.
"Tell LawDog to get his butt back here."
"I don't recall mentioning ..."
"You didn't. Butt. Here. Now."