Monday, January 10, 2011

Dear Mr Critter

When you are beating the stuffing out of the woman whom you swore before your God to love, honour and cherish, I'm sure that quoting musical lyrics is just as dramatic as all hell.

Unfortunately, I literally have scars older than you are, and screaming at me that you "wrote the book on pain" doesn't impress me all that much. To the contrary, it tends to make you look a bit of a git.

I am willing to believe, however, that you can be taught. As a fer-instance, I'm betting that you don't ever grab an officer's shirt in the future.

Won't be smacking anyone around with that arm for a while, I'll wager. And -- for the record -- you do shriek like a little girl. Cry like one, too, come to think.

Jackass.

LawDog

19 comments:

Alan said...

Some days that job has to be very satisfying.

David said...

And here today was looking so bleak. Thanks LD.

Jay G said...

Bet you could fetch a fair amount for that dash cam footage.

I'd put up a Jackson m'self...

Anonymous said...

What I've give to have the little window into his mind, from just after he initiated sthe unfortunate grab until he landed onthe ground and started keening.

I'd imagine it went: "Hah! Huh?" CRUNchK "Oh! Aieeeeeeeeeee>"

R.L. Hunter said...

The bit there with the foot in the belly looked like it might be a tad uncomfortable too.

Jennifer said...

Heh. The mental picture makes me happy.
I'm sure he was on the ground wondering what happened and why everything hurt.

Anonymous said...

For your amusement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nud-GnGPIPw

Let's just say I rather think all abusers deserve to run into 99 biker friends.

Anonymous said...

I taught a friends wife how to apply some simple arm bars. She's a special ed teacher and many of her students out weigh her by more than 30 pounds. It seems some of them get rather physical when excited. She's 5'1' and 105.

She called after her first use. She frog marched the kid back to his seat and had no more problems for the rest of the year.

Grunt said...

I love it when they mistake age and the not very impressed with you look for an easy mark.
Now that I'm pushing 50 and 100,000 miles on the odometer it occasionally happens.

Anonymous said...

Glad you're OK!

Wife beaters ought to be condemned to the galleys, in my opinion.

Ulises from CA

Robert said...

Leverage is your friend.

I second Jay G's motion. Wait, which president is on a five again?

armedandsafe said...

I was taught that turn-about was fair play.

Did he "turn-about?" :D

Rorschach said...

He may have written *A* book on pain, but he damned well didn't do it with that arm...=b

Sarah said...

Apparently, the critter wrote the text message of pain, not the book.

Steve C said...

Perhaps when he wrote the book on pain, it was from the viewpoint of experiencing it.

Priest said...

I think we all missed an important piece of data here:

Mr. Dawg,

What, if any, are the appropriate lyrics to quote at a wife beater as you mechanically damage their ability to offend in the future?

Anonymous said...

"I fought the law and the law won," perhaps?

Tennessee Budd said...

Dawg, you almost always bring a smile to my face.
I'd like to see that bitchy twerp deal with real pain, like, say, having a leg that's about 25% stainless steel.

Anonymous said...

Law Dog,

You left out the important part - what lyrics were they?