Friday, February 04, 2011

Why, you little ...

Last summers slam order on tree rats, along with the removal of anything that might constitute a Squirrel Highway to a distance of eight feet or so from the house, has resulted in a blessed absence of skittering noises coming from the attic.

So, when Farmgirl pointed towards a fat arboreal rodent busily making his way from tree to tree across the alley towards Casa LawDog and mentioned that he was most probably en route to the attic, I assured her that the surviving squirrels had had a season or two of training and weren't that dumb.

Of course, you know what happened next.

I was of the impression that as that fluffy tail disappeared into the attic, I set my tea down, excused myself, strolled into the house, picked up the Browning, checked the chamber, and walked back out to see if the little furry bastard would peek out before settling in.

Other folks have opined that there was a yelp, and that I was gone and back before the tea-mug hit the ground.

Anyhoo.

There I was, concentrating on the front sight, when there was motion to my left, and EvylRobot was there with his own .22 rifle.

And then I noticed that Vine has the exit hole lit up, and that there were a large number of people inside of the house, banging on the ceiling and barking (yes, the dogs were barking, too, but I'm here to tell you that MattG has a bark to put the fear of God into just about anything that walks on this little green dirtball) to drive the squirrel out through a hail of rim-fire lead.

I have the best friends.

The topper to the whole episode, and what sent the Fair Sex present into absolute gales of laughter, was when someone tapped me in the ribs and Holly handed me one of her ambrosial deviled eggs.

Folks, if you're a fan of the deviled egg, don't turn the opportunity to put the gobble to one out of Holly's kitchen.

I'm stuffing the hen fruit into my gob, when I hear a strangled yelp from next to me, and EvylRobot manages, "Wait, wait, I don't have you covered!" as he noshes an egg of his own.

I'm not sure exactly why this was so funny, but it just about kicked the gigglebox right over for the ladies present.

I had an absolutely wonderful time, and made out like a bandit with swag.

OldNFO; Jennifer, EvylRobot and Isaac; Vine; Farmgirl; Holly and JPG; MattG and his lovely wife; ChristinaLMT; my brother Chris; and Ambulance Driver blessed us with their company, and the Atomic Nerds were there in spirit (and by spirit, I mean they sent two cases of Nerd Beer. Oh. My. Gawd.)

Everything under the sun was discussed; there was laughter, good friends, good beer and everyone had a good time. I couldn't ask for a better party.

LawDog

17 comments:

Groundhog said...

"Wait, wait, I don't have you covered!"

Giggle...

Could have been a commando squirrel, you never know!

Rev. Paul said...

You guys have too much fun. And I'm jealous.

The bloggers up here seem to be afraid of daylight. I've only met two of them, and one was by accident.

Did I mention I'm jealous?

BGMiller said...

And the squirrel?
Do we need to break out the stencil and the spray paint, fly Maggie's Drawers, or did the little nut addict add a charge of felony evading?

BGM

Old NFO said...

Yeah, but we didn't get the squirrel... dammit... :-) And yes, those eggs WERE delicious, as was all the other food!

Vine said...

You know if I hadn't been in your way you'd have likely been able to catch the tea-mug.

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha,, one day I must make the trip. Good times and good friends we never get enough of. Good Hunting.
Brian Saul

fuzzys dad said...

Thanks for sharing this story.

Holly said...

Thanks for the compliments on the eggs. It was my pleasure to be able to contribute to the festive food.

Christina LMT said...

Oh, how I wish I'd been there to see the Squirrel Debacle. Alas, I was still on the road. Well, at least there are pictures!

Thanks again for having us over, LawDog, it was an epic party!

Jerry The Geek said...

"Last summers slam order on tree rats, along with the removal of anything that might constitute a Squirrel Highway to a distance of eight feet or so from the house, ..."

Hm .. we're arbitrarily deciding what is, and what is not, acceptable.

So I guess what Carolyn McCarthy is saying about "Hi Capacity Magazine" is similarly acceptable, by the the measure which YOU have decided?

Okay, I'm being just a little bit facetious.

Still .. what's the measure of difference between the limit of Squirrel Intrusion and "Hi-Capacity Magazine" definition?

What I'm saying is not as facetious as you may think. When Liberals feel free to define "High Capacity Magazine" as "over ten rounds" it seems to me that their thought process equates law-abiding Americans to squirrels ... who would logically equate (mumble mumble mumble) to (mumble mumble mumble).

And no, I don't mean to equate you (or me)to an admittedly "squirrely" agenda. I'm only saying that when you plan to oppose a politically opposite point of vie, you need to consider that your political opponents "Point of View" may not be based entirely on logic. or reason.

It may, indeed, be somewhat "Squirrely", in which case your reasoned points of arguments may not be effective.

Just saying ...

JPG said...

My highly esteemed friend, Lawdog - -

You consistenly present one of the very best blogs available. I don't recall a time since I've been reading this sort of thing when I EVER failed to check yours. I'd do this even if I'd never had the pleasure of meeting you personally.

One topic we've never discussed: Does it REEEALLY irritate you when someone jumps right into your comments section and tries to highjack YOUR fine efforts, in order to attract some readership which that person is not good enough to earn by his own merits? Or, do you simply let it pass, ignoring this activity the way it deserves to be?

Back when I was blogging more-or-less regularly, I used to simply delete such irritations without giving them even passing notice. If you chose to do so in this particular case, I'd certainly expect my own observations to be removed as well. No hard feelings, a-tall. Just * POOF! * The cowardly, misogynistic, Mr. Anonymous and any reference to him, gone, gone awa' [Have you ever wondered about guys like that? I mean, they must KNOW that they're advertising their own inadequacy, and that they are an embarrassment to men who are not plagued with such insecurities.] Oh, well - - -

Best to you and yours - -
JPG

Anonymous said...

Probably told this here once before: about 1955 and a friend of my Mom's wanted her to go up in the attic and make noise so the squirrels would run out and he could shoot them. Right.
Mom's younger brother was an Essex County [Newark, NJ] Sheriff's Officer, and one of the best shots in the state. He borrowed a .22 target pistol, sat down on the neighbor's back steps, and popped a squirrel right of the chimney. When he goes out front, a neighbor lady - very Irish - says she's just seen a terrribblle sight: a squirrel just jumped off the chimney and committed suicide!
OldeForce

Matt G said...

I've had better times.

I just can't precisely remember when. :)

That was a fine shindig.

You're well-loved, friend.

Looking forward to your next birfday.

KD5NRH said...

So how long will it take to patch all the bullet holes in the siding and roof?

JPG said...

KD5NRH - -
I believe the key here is that we're not talking about a free fire zone or a mad minute. Patient, skilled shooters who know their rifles and ammo cause very little collateral damage.
;)

Jennifer said...

I actually have a couple of pictures of the deviled egg incident...
A robot in low ready nomming on deliciousness.
Oh, and Alan found your squirrel
http://snarkybytes.com/2011/02/15/secret-squirrel/

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