Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Lucky fin update

I went to the orthopaedic witch-doctor yesterday for the two-week roentgenogram. Turns out that I haven't broken a metacarpal after all.

I've broken two.

*sigh*

Not only did I fracture the fifth metacarpal, but also the fourth.

To add insult to injury, I also dislocated both the fourth and third where they connect to the wrist.

Doc peered at the screen for a long time, then asked, "Are you sure you didn't hit a wall, or the floor, or something?"

"Positive, doc."

"Maybe missed and tagged a long bone, or the skull?"

"Nope."

"Wow." Long contemplation. "Use a stick next time."

*snort*

Five more weeks until they cut this damned thing off. It may survive until then.

LawDog

24 comments:

BGMiller said...

Ummm.....Dog....

The idea is to break the critter.
Not your own good self.


BGM

Dave H said...

Smart doc. Listen to him. Mankind invented tools so we could bash things in comfort.

Tommy said...

I think I know that doctor. When I broke a rib once, he said to "stay off your chest for a few weeks".

Get better, Dog, and remember, no more hickory shampoos without the hickory.
:-D

Old NFO said...

Swelling went down, and now the 'rest' of the damage becomes apparent... sigh

Jedi Master Ivyan said...

So, how did the other guy fare in this fight?

pdwalker said...

Nice!

If you're gonna do it, go all the way! Why take half measures?

Auntie J said...

When I broke my 30+-year-streak of no broken bones, I broke six all at once.

And I agree with Dave H.

Jennifer said...

Damn. Listen to the vet and take it easy for a bit. You will be in fighting form again soon.

Gerry N. said...

I've posted this before, but maybe not here. My beloved Dad told me many times that except in dire emergencies only a fool hits another man with his bare hands. Use a tool. Stick, club, baseball bat, camera, brick, rock, whatever's at hand. I keep a priest under the seat of my pickup. For those whose education is lacking a priest is a compact hardwood club loaded with a half pound or so of lead, usually used to kill fish with. Most effective when applied vigorously to the cranium and upper arms of critters and other malefactors. Just pulling mine out from under the seat and slapping it in my left palm has prevented any further aggression several times, also removed the necessity of pulling my sidearm. That's always a desirable thing.

Anonymous said...

Were you able to get the tech to slip a little extra something into the cast (a la Wolverine)?

Hope you feel better soon.

LittleRed1

Anonymous said...

You never have done things by halves, have you? Will they need to do anything corrective about the dislocations, or are they mild enough to self-correct once the the swelling is down, in which case immobilization is the treatment of choice anyhowzzles.

A swagger stick might be a nice affectation in a line of work such as yours, and then you have it right handy when a critter launches his reality check into Pluto orbit. Just a thought.

Heal well, Mr. Dog, sir.

Regards, Mama Kestrel

Gopher said...

Have you learned a bent coat hanger comes in handy for reaching those odd corners of that cast yet?

Anonymous said...

So sorry you cracked yer paw in two places (!) but you never do anything by halves, do you?

I just pulled a Looney Tunes slip on wet concrete & can attest that it ain't fun to try to drill three holes in a concrete pad with my tailbone, my back, and my noggin'. No casts, but I did see a few stars ... and some strong Ibuprofin. So, I feel your pain, thrice-ly. Get well soon!

Ulises from CA

Barbara Bailey said...

I was taught "Hit the soft parts with your hand. Use a utensil to hit the hard parts." I've found that to be generally sound advice.

Hope everything heals up satisfactorily.

Ken O said...

I feel for you LD. I have fractured 11 bones on the job in the last 18 months and put a 1/4"x1/4"x2 1/2" V shaped dent in my strongside hip bone. I missed 2 days of work. Some if us do, others wait for the benevolent hand of slavery to "help" us. You seem like a doer, you'll be fine.

Skip said...

Could ya repost or point out the post of the takedown and arm bar ya hadda do on a critter?
I really needed that the other day.
Got'im down, but not easy.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, LD you are spending WAAAY too much time in non-social contact with members of the medical profession.

Those people are seriously dangerous.

Get well and stay well already.

LawDog said...

Skip, that was probably a juji-gatame, or 'flying armbar'.

Firehand said...

I think it was in 'Cross the Stars' that a character remembers his grandpa saying "Never hit a man with your bare hand unless you're stark-naked in an empty room with your feet nailed to the floor."

Of course, being in the LE profession, it puts certain limits on that advice

W.R. said...

'Dog, you are one helluva wordsmith and one of my favorite-most bloggers. Oftentimes, one of your expressions cold-cocks my funny-bone, and I end up watering the old keyboard. In short, you invariably brighten my day. Many thanks.

Brigid said...

You're going to be OK eventually, unless it currently glows in the dark when exposed to black light.

Get well and a big hug to Miss P.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Dawg.... you hear any skinny on the case of the Dad who killed the critter bare-handed who was molesting his daughter? I understand said animal was found in the Act, pants around ankles. I'm hoping it's the fastest no-bill in Texas history.... JohninMd(help!)

Cath said...

I'm new to your blog, and I love your writing. The pericarditis stories made me laugh till I cried, and still do when I read them again (and again...). I've been reading back and oh, man.... the pink bunny! Really?

Sorry about your hand, get well soon :-)

Cath said...

... gorilla, obviously. Sorry about that