Forbe's Magazine recently published their list of the Top 20 Most Miserable Cities in America.
Out of sense of morbid curiosity, I paged through their presentation, and when I came to the end, the first thing that popped into my mind was: "Yet one more reason for my shadow to never, ever darken the borders of California."
Of the twenty cities listed, eight of them are in California.
Folks, if eight of your cities are among the "Most Miserable" places to live in the United States, that there is what we finely-trained law-enforcement types call "A Clue".
By way of comparison, I give you the Great State of Texas. Not a one of our cities lands on the Top 20 list -- and that's saying something considering there're parts of Houston, Dallas, San Antonio and El Paso that I wouldn't venture into without heavy fire-power and a full platoon of Marines for back-up.
California has eight out of the twenty, yet California is still held to be the ideal in certain social and political sectors.
"You should be more like California," they say, "California is enlightened!" "If it's good enough for California to do, it must be mandatory for you!"
Huh. I hadn't ever considered that "Misery" might equal "Enlightenment" but that thought process might explain a great deal.
California is the reason that every bit of fishing tackle I buy has an idiot label on it that says: "This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and/or birth defects or other reproductive harm" -- even the brass-and-tungsten "no-tox" weights.
If it isn't bad enough that media and social pundits keep extolling the virtues of California, people fleeing California to my Fair State keep trying to make Texas into a carbon-copy of the misery they just left.
Why? Texas: None of the Top 20 Most Miserable Cities. California: majority shareholder in the Top 20 Most Miserable Cities. SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE TEXAS?!
Now I realize that California liberals fleeing their State couldn't get a clue if they smeared themselves with clue musk and did the clue mating dance in a field full of receptive clues at the height of the clue mating season, but here's to tilting at windmills:
California is doing something wrong. Texas is doing something right. Quit trying to turn Texas into a carbon-copy of California. Leave us the hell alone.