Your Humble Scribe and a Minion are watching an inmate who is praying vigorously to Ralph, Ye Ancient God of the Porcelain Throne.
Inmate: "Oh, Gaaaawwwwd!"
Minion: "Sweet Jeebus, does he have anything left?"
LawDog: "Probably not. Pretty sure I saw toenails come out just a second ago."
Minion: "Do we need to send him to the hospital or something?"
LawDog: "Nah. When he was arrested -- curled up under the dining room table of a complete and total stranger at three in the morning, I might add -- he had a baggie with trace amounts of heroin in it. Trust me, the jail nurses are quite familiar with the protocols for opiate detox."
Inmate: "You don't unnerstand! Gawd, please kill me!"
LawDog: "If I were you, I'd shut up and concentrate on keeping your organs on the inside."
Inmate: "Don't make fun of me! Yeeaaarrgghh!"
LawDog: "If you feel something round and furry coming up, best swallow hard, 'cause you're going to need it later."
Inmate: "You're makin' fun of me! I'm somebody! I went to Local State University!"
LawDog: "Graduated magna cum laudanum, no doubt."
Inmate: "Yeah! Blargh!"
Minion (Rolling her eyes at her Mentor in All Things Knuckledragging): "That ... was terrible."
LawDog: "I'll say. I'm pretty sure the jail kitchen doesn't serve a damn thing that colour."
Ah, well. The finer points of extemporaneous wit are lost on the young.
I'm so unappreciated in my time.