Saturday, July 27, 2013

Le Derp-phone c'est mort

Well, the cell-phone that my faithful minions have been gigglingly referring to as the "Derp-phone!" has been Officially Binned.

Alas, it didn't take being used as a Distraction Device as well as its' predecessor -- not well at all, come to think -- and never did succeed in receiving e-mails.

Commensurate with my new duties came -- yet another -- firm "suggestion" by the folks what sign my paycheque as to upgrading my personal communication device.

*sigh*

So, this morning I wandered into my local wireless center where a drone with a Corporate Smile looked up my account on the store computer, frowned and murmured, "That's not funny" and summoned the manager.

Said worthy appeared, looked at the screen, frowned, and started hammering keys until I stated -- apropos of nothing: "Yes, I have thrown my phone at inmates."

Both drones looked at me for a loooong time, and then the manager-type looked at his underling. Underling sayeth, "He wants an upgrade."

Manager thinks long and hard before stating (rather firmly, I thought), "Not an iPhone" and buggering off to the back-room. Probably for a cigarette and a soothing shot of booze.

Long story short, I have turned in the Lobotomy Plus™ for a brand-spanking new Samsung Rugby Pro™.

And spent two hours at home, shutting off the superfluous stuff. Kee riced all my tea, I DO NOT want my location continuously updated to various social network sites, thankyewverramuchly, nor do I need suggestions as to restaurants, motels, clothing stores, Points Of Interest, and anything else I might be traveling within half-a-mile of constantly plinging the screen.

Initial impressions are that this thing is a brick. When the drone told me that it had a "reassuring heft" I'm pretty sure he didn't mean that with a proper wind-up, it it may move from Distraction Device right into Less-Lethal territory.

Supposed to be Mil-Spec. We'll see if it's 'Dog-Spec -- which may be a considerably more stringent standard. The jury is out.

LawDog

40 comments:

Farmmom said...

After taking all the extra crap off of mine it has been a pretty bomb proof little phone. And this is coming from the woman that can screw up an anvil with a rubber mallet!

Sevesteen said...

If there's an Otterbox case available for your model, they are well worth the money (and extra bulk) for the extra protection.

Farm.Dad said...

If you find a case you like for its utility fine , but that particular phone ( imo ) wont need it to be dog-resistant . I will suggest one of the plastic sheet glare reducing screen guards though . Less to protect the glass ( its tough stuff ) than to make the screen more legible in direct sunlight .

Anonymous said...

Check out the Motorola Tundra..... my brother ran his over with his tool truck ..... still works.

He has also thrown it at stupid people to get their attention .... on more than one occasion.... sounds like that's your "'Dog proof" phone.

-jimbob86

wolfwalker said...

"And spent two hours at home, shutting off the superfluous stuff."

This is one of the drawbacks of an Android phone. Damn things are stuffed to the gills with crapware, much like your typical new Big Name Brand Windows PC. My iPhone 4 came with only a few built-in apps, and it was generally easy to turn off the stuff I didn't want.

As for robustness, I second the recommendation of an Otterbox, specifically the Otterbox Defender. I call it armor for a smartphone. Does a dandy job of protecting from small impacts. Probably won't help much if you wing it at a brick wall, but then real armor was never much good against an impact weapon like a mace, either.

Anonymous said...

Congrats!

I hope to get an iPhone. But, I don't throw my phone at people.

Ulises from CA.

Skip said...

Does chuckin' it at the dog that chewed the tip off my flyrod count?

tanksoldier said...

Stick it in an Otter Box case and it will be bulletproof... almost.

TOTWTYTR said...

I agree with the Otterbox.

Mil-Spec? The medics at my service laughed at Mil-Spec. We broke stuff that the USMC couldn't break in combat.

Back to the phone. I hate all of that stuff, but it's the price you pay for a "smart phone". For a while, before it died and had to be replaced, the only thing I couldn't do with my phone was make phone calls.

Old NFO said...

LOL, welcome to the 'new' world... and good luck keeping all the crap turned off!!!

Dave H said...

good luck keeping all the crap turned off!!!

My sentiments exactly.

Boy, would I love to be the surgeon to work on Verizon's CEO. We'd see how he likes having a bunch of extra crap that he doesn't need installed.

"First, do no harm..." don't say nothin' about tuning your back on advertising revenue.

Foo Bar said...

Had the Original Rugby. dropped said rugby. often. dropped said rugby into puddles 3 or 4 times a year. threw said rugby against wall when carrier dropped my signal after my 3rd hour on the line with tech support. used said rugby in high dust rural agriculture environment. carried said rugby on fishing/hunting/camping trips.

never got around to getting case for said rugby.

only replaced said rugby when I HAD to get "smart phone" capability. that means larger screen and keyboard.

said rugby is now in my bug out bag with spare battery and charger because you have to have solid and reliable in your BOB. (911 will still work even without a contract with a carrier)

Find someone who can "root" your phone to get rid of the bloatware. then you can also run the good software your carrier doesn't want you to use so they can make you use their crap. first program. Titanium Backup.

get the otterbox defender. it will help cut down impact damage upon high velocity impact against semi soft surfaces.

samsung hates you. samsung holds you in contempt. they will give you some of the worst tech support in the world.

C-90 said...

http://reviews.cnet.com/smartphones/samsung-rugby-pro-at/4505-6452_7-35473911.html#!

You got took, Lawdog.

Geodkyt said...

TOTWTYTR:

UNPOSSIBLE!

Marines (regardless of MOS) are no different than infantrymen.

You can issue four privates three identical 12" stainless steel balls, and come back an hour later.

One will be missing.

One will be broken.

And one will be pregnant.

Jennifer said...

Hmm. Dog vs phone. I'm betting on dog. Just remember, phones do not like baths or swimming.

Stingray said...

If that includes a new number, then we are out of sync with each other. Check with herself, she should have the updated contacts for LabRat and myself. Or email me.

Rick Street said...

I bet it ends up Dog 1- phone 0

robert martin said...

so what all "stuff" would you like your new "friend" to have??


Proper GPS thingy??
Barcode scanner??
Stun Gun app??
Office Suite with Voice ReCog so you can growl at it to start your reports??

Gopher said...

+ one on the Otterbox.
My Crackberry survived two 28 ft falls onto concrete in one. It didn't survive the street sweeper...but that's another story.

One thing about an I phone.......it never seems to leave my wife's hand. maybe you wouldn't throw it at anyone. :)

Anonymous said...

Eh, it's reached the point where I get envious looks when I explain that my cell-phone can't even send texts, let alone get them. I still miss my pilot-resistant brick. I could dial with gloves on, unlike mini-padded-teeny-phone.

I'm with Rick. $2 on the Dog.

LittleRed1

Larry said...

"You can issue four privates three identical 12" stainless steel balls, and come back an hour later.

One will be missing.

One will be broken.

And one will be pregnant."


What about the fourth?

Oh, you mean the bearings.

Marc B. said...

Third (4th?) otterbox recommendation. Have thrown my iPhone across a parking lot in it. Has survived getting glorped with drywall mud. When you add it to the Rugby, the combination might just be dog-proof for long enough to be useful.

Robin Bobcat said...

Ah yes.. that is a SOLID phone. But yes, you can get some insanely good protective cases, too.

I was at a pizza joint, when some teenagers were heckling one of their fellows for having a big, bulky phone case. "Can you do this with your phone?" and casually threw it against the nearby brick wall.

I've personally thought there is a market for ruggedized phones. I mean, moreso than the existing ones, though they're a step in the right direction. I mean something you can drive a truck over, leave in the pool a fortnight, or give to a four year old.

Stan Burton said...

For $100 more. Samsung has the Galaxy S4 Active ( which is different from the standard S4) which doesn't have the rubberized case but it is waterproof up to a meter vs water resistant. Add a $30 rubber case and you have the impact resistance of the rugby pro, waterproofed, with a bigger and higher resolution screen and faster processor. Hell you can even control your tv and blue ray player with it.

Anonymous said...

Brother Dog,

I've had a Rugby for a little over a year. I think the only reason it has survived is because it's a felony for me to have it at work.

I had a nice little dumb phone that died a natural death. It is deeply missed. I now have an emotionally needy (hell, it's neurotic) smart phone. If I leave it in my car when I go in to work, it goes absolutely hysterical. I killed one in two weeks by leaving it in my car!

Good luck on this one, Dog.

Chara said...

Cool!

Krysta in MKE said...

Mr Dawg, sir, have you considered contacting various phone-making companies & offering to be a tester for them?
Their ruggedized versions could show your Paw of Approval, and people would know that it really was ruggedized.

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