Saturday, September 07, 2013

That's going on the blog.

My lady loves spiky foods. She eats Indian cuisine with aplomb, ploughs her way through your standard Southwestern chilies with her usual verve, and wasabi was conquered a long time ago.

This past week, Sgt Krunch and I met her in Big City at the upscale Mexican eatery where she was being her usual adorable, exuberantly sparkly self.

Our food came, and she spread a little of the pico de gallo side onto her chimichanga ...

... "Aren't dachsie bellies just the cutest thing ever? They just beg for nuzzling, oh, and don't you just hate: 'There is no I in team'? Maybe not, but there are several I's in 'Platitude-spouting idiot'. I mean, seriously?"

And took a dainty bite, followed immediately by, "Holy [deleted]! [Deleted]! [Deleted]! [Deleted]!" -- Pttooey! -- "Holy crap, I think I just bit into Satan's scrotum!"

The following silence in a relatively busy lunch-hour restaurant was ... beautiful.

There was a great deal of water consumed, a lemon wedge rubbed hastily along her tongue, a little more water, and then she blinked and blurted, "Did I yell that?"

Poor Sgt Krunch was laughing so hard, she couldn't take a bite of her own food; and I have to admit that I was trying awfully hard to keep the gigglesnorting under control.

Heh.  Right off the cuff.

I think someone may have planted their jalapenos a little bit too close to their ghost peppers.

LawDog

16 comments:

Jon said...

So, other people have the cross-pollination problem with peppers, too. I first noticed it when I had some anaheims planted next to jalapenos, and made chile rellenos out of the anaheims. Wow!

Peter said...

I can just hear her saying that . . . and I can just picture the reaction of the other diners. How many of them were overcome with the gigglesnorts?

:-)

Da Curly Wolf said...

So did a waiter or management rush right over to the table? ROFL

Anonymous said...

I met a Lakota who had the pepper problem, thanks to his brother-in-law's fondness for a home-created hybrid that cross pollinated the Lakota's jalapenos. The jalas from h-ll were carefully saved for use in practical jokes.

LittleRed1

Old NFO said...

OH man... ROTF! And I'm betting the other diners were VERY careful to 'test' they food before they took a big bite! :-)

Monkeywrangler said...

I had a cross pollination problem on year when I planted a jalapeno too close to the green bell peppers. Spicy green bell peppers were the unexpected result!

Graybeard said...

Did she just tell someone she can handle any level of pepper hotness in food? That how it happens with Mrs. Graybeard (who eats way hotter foods than I feel comfortable with). One boast and the next pepper gets her.

Jennifer said...

Hee Hee!
Yeah, we've got some evil jalepenos this year. Planted them next to the habaneros. We shall see how the tabascos and anaheims come out.

Robin Bobcat said...

'Satan's Scrotum' totally needs to be the name of an actual pepper variety. Small, round, fire-engine red with black blotches and ominous chanting in Latin.

TOTWTYTR said...

I just picture her saying that and then looking around at all the people looking at her.

Pricelessly funny.

PA State Cop said...

Thai Food should come with MSDS sheets.

Tam said...

" 'There is no I in team'? Maybe not, but there are several I's in 'Platitude-spouting idiot'."

This is why everybody loves Phlegmmie. :D

EMS Artifact said...

I would like also to commend Phlegm Fatale on her use of proper anatomical terminology in the, uh, heat of the moment.

That shows the depth of her medical education.

Scott said...

I actually prefer habaneros to jalapenos. The habs are consistently face-meltingly hot, but two jalapenos that grew side by side on the plant are almost always two different levels of fire.

Webfoot Logger said...

My problem with jalapenos is that they so frequently have that nasty metallic aftertaste.

(I think it's a handling problem.)

playingintheworldgame said...

I should *not* have read this while eating my bowl of all-bran. Jayzus bejayzus what a mess on my monitor.