Sunday, July 16, 2017

Memorandum For Record

To:  Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, so on, and so forth.

Your Majesty,

Your security detail sucks great big rocks off of the ocean floor.  No, I take that back -- if they sucked they'd actually be useful for something.

You do realise that your dramatic return to your home dirt could have been  cut short -- nay, pounded flat -- by a half-starved, illiterate beggar with a big rock, a bit of leverage, and a decent understanding of gravity?

What the hell did you think you were doing by tip-toeing through the tulips of a castle (maybe) formerly held lock, stock, piglet by enemy forces; and you two body-lengths ahead of your five-man security detail?  A security detail which also appears to be the advance party/survey section of your amphibious landing?

No, wait.  Your security detail is made up of the same people who were getting their butts handed to them by a bunch of business-men in stupid masks and skirts earlier.  My bad.


I don't remember what they cost you, but I seriously think you over-paid.

Yes, I understand that you're "The Queen".  I don't care.  Unless you relish the title of "The Former Queen, Gods Rest Her Soul", sit on your hands on a ship until the entire island has been searched -- twice -- by loyal forces, and the castle has been searched, dusted, searched, sanitised, and searched.  Then you can pull your MacArthur imitation in the centre of a properly-trained security cordon.

I swear unto Cheeto Jeezuz that idiot clients like you are what give the Personal Protection business a bad name.




Kevin said...

Thank you for voicing my thoughts precisely. I kept expecting Euron Greyjoy and his Joyboys to come running out to seize Dany and Tyrion. It's not like no one knew where they were going to land on arrival in Westeros.

FarmGirl said...

If she'd waited, they could have gotten her a chair for her big carved map table.

Also, she left her five man detail behind in the throne room thingy and proceeded with just the dwarf. Who, admittedly, beat the holy hell out of a slaver, but he had chains then.

Pretty sure Arya is my favorite character right now though.

Kevin said...

Yup. But The Hound is growing on me.

DaveS said...

What in the world is this in reference to?

LawDog said...

Game of Thrones opening episode last night.

LawDog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

But she had air superiority! regards, Alemaster

Old NFO said...

ROTFLMAO! Another reason I don't watch that trash...

DaveS said...

I'm with Old NFO!

Gloriam Deo said...

Yeah, that didn't seem like a good idea to me either. I feel like the Lanisters must be kicking themselves. Had they known how fool hardy she was, they could have posted a few good archers in the castle. When she entered, they could have filled her with arrows at their leisure.

Linda Fox said...

You know, I wondered that, when a friend sent me the link to that part of the story.

Until last week, I'd never seen GoT. I don't get HBO, and never miss the absence of those shows.

However, I was visiting my son and his girl, and she confessed she was addicted to it. So, I said, sure, I'll watch the first episode.

LOTS of bare YOUNG female bodies. Lots of sexual touching of those bodies. Lots of using women like things - for trade with potential allies, random hopping on and off of, and a lot of women-talk (trash-talking other women, boasting about one's riches/power/sexual appetite).

For a while, I thought I was in a Sex & the City re-run.

Nope. Not gonna watch again. Every time an actress has her dress taken off, every time he naked body was touched. all I could think about was:

No wonder the actresses never slapped Harvey, and stormed out. They were used to doing this. Being told by the director to put up with it, act like they liked it. Being paid to be treated like a whore.