Sunday, July 16, 2017

Memorandum For Record

To:  Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, so on, and so forth.

Your Majesty,

Your security detail sucks great big rocks off of the ocean floor.  No, I take that back -- if they sucked they'd actually be useful for something.

You do realise that your dramatic return to your home dirt could have been  cut short -- nay, pounded flat -- by a half-starved, illiterate beggar with a big rock, a bit of leverage, and a decent understanding of gravity?

What the hell did you think you were doing by tip-toeing through the tulips of a castle (maybe) formerly held lock, stock, piglet by enemy forces; and you two body-lengths ahead of your five-man security detail?  A security detail which also appears to be the advance party/survey section of your amphibious landing?

No, wait.  Your security detail is made up of the same people who were getting their butts handed to them by a bunch of business-men in stupid masks and skirts earlier.  My bad.

*sigh*

I don't remember what they cost you, but I seriously think you over-paid.

Yes, I understand that you're "The Queen".  I don't care.  Unless you relish the title of "The Former Queen, Gods Rest Her Soul", sit on your hands on a ship until the entire island has been searched -- twice -- by loyal forces, and the castle has been searched, dusted, searched, sanitised, and searched.  Then you can pull your MacArthur imitation in the centre of a properly-trained security cordon.

I swear unto Cheeto Jeezuz that idiot clients like you are what give the Personal Protection business a bad name.

Frustratedly:

LawDog

9 comments:

Kevin said...

Thank you for voicing my thoughts precisely. I kept expecting Euron Greyjoy and his Joyboys to come running out to seize Dany and Tyrion. It's not like no one knew where they were going to land on arrival in Westeros.

FarmGirl said...

If she'd waited, they could have gotten her a chair for her big carved map table.

Also, she left her five man detail behind in the throne room thingy and proceeded with just the dwarf. Who, admittedly, beat the holy hell out of a slaver, but he had chains then.

Pretty sure Arya is my favorite character right now though.

Kevin said...

Yup. But The Hound is growing on me.

DaveS said...

What in the world is this in reference to?

LawDog said...

Game of Thrones opening episode last night.

LawDog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

But she had air superiority! regards, Alemaster

Old NFO said...

ROTFLMAO! Another reason I don't watch that trash...

DaveS said...

I'm with Old NFO!