tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post2650962292640023578..comments2023-11-27T02:17:22.859-06:00Comments on The LawDog Files: Oy ...LawDoghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05232684877582591461noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-68831485087918515742012-10-05T09:19:59.482-05:002012-10-05T09:19:59.482-05:00I saw this link this morning, and immediately thou...I saw this link this morning, and immediately thought of this story...<br /><br />http://cutecaptions.com/2012/06/indifference/Auntie Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05291024186455331856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-47077070311480686232008-08-24T19:17:00.000-05:002008-08-24T19:17:00.000-05:00Dog, you gotta talk to your mother about umm.. fil...Dog, you gotta talk to your mother about umm.. filling in? the details of your adventures in the comments. I'm glad I read this first, then ate, because scraping turkey sammich off the walls is kind of a drag ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-62582282751136775242008-04-22T15:36:00.000-05:002008-04-22T15:36:00.000-05:00LD and Maxdrive I'll let the two of you slpit the ...LD and Maxdrive I'll let the two of you slpit the cost of a new keyboard, please mail it to <BR/><BR/>p.o. box 1315<BR/>fulton, Tx 78358<BR/><BR/><BR/>:)Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15796886431754694105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-22914966280543433402008-04-17T12:16:00.000-05:002008-04-17T12:16:00.000-05:00I read this while eating lunch at my desk (bad hab...I read this while eating lunch at my desk (bad habit, I know). You owe my employer a new keyboard.<BR/><BR/>Hope you feeling better now.The Freeholderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09989697995675652792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-18704635708045150932008-04-17T10:29:00.000-05:002008-04-17T10:29:00.000-05:00LOL! at max drive. LawMomLOL! at max drive. <BR/>LawMomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-2301642037619557562008-04-16T14:16:00.000-05:002008-04-16T14:16:00.000-05:00I had a bout with flu many years ago. My bedroom w...I had a bout with flu many years ago. My bedroom was on the second floor, the bathroom on the first. I did a thundering herd run down the stairs and across the short hall to the bathroom and nearly made it. I lost everything in the first projectile vomit more or less in the direction of the hall rug. After heaving my toenails into the commode, I re-entered the hallway to survey the damages. Standing spraddle-legged on the rug was our Siamese Tomcat, festooned with the products of my focused heave. He was absolutely horrified and frozen in place. He did not object in the least to the indignity of that bath but never looked at me quite the same.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-58488864102557182172008-04-16T10:58:00.000-05:002008-04-16T10:58:00.000-05:00My sympathies........... limited only by the fact ...My sympathies........... limited only by the fact that reading this while eating & drinking means I now need a new keyboard.......... I think I can salvage my monitor with careful application of alcowipes.....<BR/><BR/>Get well soon!<BR/><BR/>Cats? We have one that used to herd four young Alsatians into a corner for sport..... and all gods have mercy on the pup that tried to eat from her dish!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-90256192749050110962008-04-15T19:40:00.000-05:002008-04-15T19:40:00.000-05:00You realize I will have the image of a pink gorill...You realize I will have the image of a pink gorilla wearing yellow armadillo boxers in my head for a long time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-61161983537210624302008-04-15T14:40:00.000-05:002008-04-15T14:40:00.000-05:00Uggh. Though when you said "multiple points of ex...Uggh. Though when you said "multiple points of exit", the image brought to mind was one time when I was at my aunt's place, I woke up from a deep sleep in similar condition and all I can say is, thanks be to Great Ghu the cat's litter box was in front of the toilet because I was spewing from both ends simultaneously. I thought you'd passed out in a puddle of vomit, as well, so I couldn't understand why the cat would be willing to be anywhere near your head.<BR/><BR/>LarryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-140008286131845232008-04-15T11:47:00.000-05:002008-04-15T11:47:00.000-05:00Ittycat sitting on LD's head? Where is a camera wh...Ittycat sitting on LD's head? Where is a camera when you need one? It would've been the perfect LOLcat!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-65440527372740833572008-04-15T07:21:00.000-05:002008-04-15T07:21:00.000-05:00That cat was guarding all the meat!Seriously, I ho...That cat was guarding all the meat!<BR/><BR/>Seriously, I hope you're feeling better. The worst parts of stomach flu pass quickly, but it can leave you feeling oogy for days.<BR/><BR/>We would hear more of the dancing aramdillo boxers, my precious, o yes....CrankyProfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11032272009661743761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-28517585717010146002008-04-15T01:26:00.000-05:002008-04-15T01:26:00.000-05:00Oh yeah. The recoil from projectile vomiting blew ...Oh yeah. The recoil from projectile vomiting blew me right off my knees, and left a vertical pattern that started in the bowl and ended on the ceiling. The next couple days are a bit blurry. I was expecting to find an imprint of a license plate across my gut, I hurt so bad. <BR/>Fortunately, that wasn't the time the cat mis-landed, and took the seat and lid with her as she fell into the bowl. Clean TidyBowl Blue water in it. I had to lift her out and rinse and shampoo her. She seemed to be in shock, as she didn't fight my ministrations at all. Good object lesson on why the lid should be down at all times: Kitty might not be so accommodating next time!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-28980721287704008242008-04-14T19:00:00.000-05:002008-04-14T19:00:00.000-05:00Had a similar experience with food poisoning. I r...Had a similar experience with food poisoning. I remember being literally in awe of the amount the human body can evac and with the force behind it, when the next thing I know is my wife is standing over me saying "I have 911 on the phone!"<BR/><BR/>Can you say Vasovagal syncope?<BR/><BR/>SmokeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-44283818376993713902008-04-14T16:19:00.000-05:002008-04-14T16:19:00.000-05:00cats... we've just taken in two male kittens that ...cats... we've just taken in two male kittens that were about to be put down for the "crime" of being homeless at 8 weeks old. "frodo" and "romeo". its amusing to watch a full grown female pit bull back off when a fluffy little kitten spits and hisses at her. now we've got to teach her not to steal from the kitten's food dishes and all will be well.<BR/>"gunner" <BR/>(p.s. the verification word reads like something you might see in a pill bottle... "pyvavoxi").Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-53438523126390287172008-04-14T14:34:00.000-05:002008-04-14T14:34:00.000-05:00The stomach flu is awful. It hits you like a frei...The stomach flu is awful. It hits you like a freight train. You'll be feeling fine, feeling fine, then at some later point (often the oh-dark-thirty) you'll wake up to gurgling in the tummy. Unlike normal indigestion, that gurgling is increasing. You can see the needles in the control room of your mind go from green, right through yellow, blow past the red and head all the way for the stops.<BR/><BR/>Then you hurl. Everything you ate for the past five days. The first time. That phase tends to last for about 3 hours for me.<BR/><BR/>Then comes phase two. Fits right in with "number two." That lasts another few hours.<BR/><BR/>Then you just feel like hell for another 24-36 hours or so. From fine to crap back to fine in about 48 hours. It's one funky sickness.The Raving Prophethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08830254881182697135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-16948481545629706752008-04-14T13:38:00.000-05:002008-04-14T13:38:00.000-05:00Rule 65: If I must have computer systems with publ...Rule 65: If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.<BR/><BR/>Sadly Mr. Lawdog, you appear to have failed to incorporate said Sewage Overflow Containment facility properly else Bubba9000, your computer in the Lawdog Fortress of Solitude and other fun stuff, wouldn't have had to inform you of the said failure.<BR/><BR/>Fortunately, we do have a fine team of specialist that can fix this problem for the paltry sum of *mumble mumble* and one left or right arm, depending on which hand you use least.<BR/><BR/>You have to keep the cat however, going cross eyed when you sneeze would prevent the accurate attachment via the four claws in the air manuever of our normal targets.<BR/><BR/>*hehe...hope you get to feeling better bud*Simeron Steelhammerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10947368651002261601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-30647618728725739572008-04-14T12:42:00.000-05:002008-04-14T12:42:00.000-05:00What the Dog left out was that his head landed, no...What the Dog left out was that his head landed, not on the floor, but in Ittycat's litterbox, whereupon said cat promptly tried to bury it. Gives new meaning to shit-for-brains.<BR/>And Dog worries about the paramedics telling the story of the circumstances? LOLOLOL!!!!!<BR/>LawMomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-2235635182214219632008-04-14T11:22:00.000-05:002008-04-14T11:22:00.000-05:00You make me feel so lucky that mine hit me when I ...You make me feel so lucky that mine hit me when I was awake. <BR/>However you know those fluffy toilet seat covers that some women insist on, like my land lady. Just as I was hovering down the lid flopped a micro second before containment failure. If the dog or one of the cats had been handy I would have used it for the wipe up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-80318474794214201672008-04-14T10:51:00.000-05:002008-04-14T10:51:00.000-05:00Stupid Humans.First, the poke was to see if you we...Stupid Humans.<BR/><BR/>First, the poke was to see if you were still alive.<BR/><BR/>She sat on your head for several reasons:<BR/><BR/>(1) To be sure noone else tried to take away her meal.<BR/>(2) To wait until you were completely disabled before beginning to feed.<BR/><BR/>The position on your head allowed easier hearing of your breath sounds, not to mention access to the soft, juicy bits such as eyes and tongue.<BR/><BR/>Felines are smart enough to know that if the human who imprisons them dies, starvation will follow. They're ALSO smart enough to recognize that an average-size human can keep a cat alive for a long time -- certainly long enough for other humans to show up and effect their kitteh-escape.<BR/><BR/>HTH...<BR/><BR/>DD<BR/><BR/>PS: My word-verification is "X-Ream". Relevant? You be the judge...Dedicated_Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06375339835638311982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-81162443382523652032008-04-14T10:45:00.000-05:002008-04-14T10:45:00.000-05:00A cat is an arrogant, entitled creature of limited...A cat is an arrogant, entitled creature of limited intelligence who has somehow developed the ability to domesticate humans. A dog, however,is a friend and companion. As my old grandaddy used to say, "the only good cat is one drying on the highway".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-20493386292238183272008-04-14T10:35:00.000-05:002008-04-14T10:35:00.000-05:00Mr. 'Dog, Please, don't confuse the tears in my ey...Mr. 'Dog, <BR/><BR/>Please, don't confuse the tears in my eyes for laughter at your suffering. I offer my sympathy...and then crack up at the way you wrote it.<BR/><BR/>Hope you get better soon!<BR/><BR/>KSecularPaladinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13520883214299769318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-69433021231483070762008-04-14T10:07:00.000-05:002008-04-14T10:07:00.000-05:00With friends like that, who needs enemas.....Thank...With friends like that, who needs enemas.....<BR/><BR/>Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all week... Try the veal...Rorschachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11848860674369931761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-18436607714536895202008-04-14T09:38:00.000-05:002008-04-14T09:38:00.000-05:00The good thing about stomach flu is it's short liv...The good thing about stomach flu is it's short lived so I hope you are back to your old self now Mr. Dog.<BR/>As for the Ittycat - sounds like the twin of my Lilycat. <BR/><BR/>Ky PersonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-2980250446964027172008-04-14T09:32:00.000-05:002008-04-14T09:32:00.000-05:00So sorry to hear about the stomach flu. When I've...So sorry to hear about the stomach flu. When I've woken up with it, I've invariably had a dream which involved being on water; I specifically remember a canoe one time. <BR/><BR/>Cats are never helpful except on really cold nights when they can often be induced to crawl beneath the covers to act as non-cooling hot water bottles.<BR/><BR/>You also have my condolences on Ittycat's allergies. Our current model, Sextus, has sneezed since we took him in four and a half years ago. It got very bad last year, to the point that you just had to walk in the door and listen to tell where in the entire house the poor beast was. So the vet has him on half a little yellow generic chlortrimeton twice a day. I can really tell when I forget, from the horrid burbling snorkling sounds emitating from beneath the bed. Makes it really hard to sleep for everyone concerned.Library-Gryffonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446982343602702829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22957834.post-25352268114635008672008-04-14T01:20:00.000-05:002008-04-14T01:20:00.000-05:00I'm betting at least one of the kitty's messages w...I'm betting at least one of the kitty's messages was "hurry up and flush the Magic Fountain."<BR/><BR/>I've had to hurriedly toss cats out of the bathroom one-handed while trying to get de-pantsed and onto the seat with the other more than once.KD5NRHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04169457396389789270noreply@blogger.com