The term "fasting" -- from the Old English word fæstan -- means to abstain from food, or occasionally, to abstain from certain foods.
When used in the same sentence as the phrase "hunger strike" however, "fasting" means abstaining from food.
In other words, you don't eat, you get hungry, you lose your appetite, and then you jolly well turn up your tootsies and you die.
Unless, of course, you are Cindy "Ghoul" Sheehan. On June 28th of this year, Cindy "The Vulture" Sheehan anounced with great fanfare that she was going on a hunger strike to encourage the Government to bring the troops home from the Middle East.
This led to some high spirits around here.
Alas, I should have known better. Whosis further announced that her fast would be from 07/04 until 09/02. Personally, here at Rancheria LawDog we feel that for maximum effect she should continue her fast until the troops come home, or she expires, whichever comes first.
Today, I have learned that the Ghoul and the Main Stream Media have lied to me. Again. Apparently a "hunger strike" doesn't include coffee with vanilla ice cream. Or smoothies. Or blended fruit juice with protein powder supplement.
I don't know which bloody planet that bimbo is from, but around here we call that "a diet", not a hunger strike.
Hell, if whazzername ever dumps the hairshirt, she could probably turn a tidy profit advertising it as a meal plan to her brain-dead buddies in Hollywood.
And it gets worse.
Would you believe that the barking moonbat idiots have invented something called a "Rolling Hunger Strike"?
You want to know how bad it is? Do you really want to know?
Apparently, if you take 14 morons, and you assign each one half of a day out of a certain week you can have a hunger strike for a full week without, you know, the hunger part.
Moron A doesn't eat on Monday before Noon. Moron B doesn't eat after noon on Monday.
On Tuesday, Moron C doesn't eat in the morning, while Moron D doesn't eat in the afternoon, so on and so forth.
Voila! A week-long hunger strike, yet no one has to go more than half of a day without food.
Are you bloody well KIDDING ME??! I don't believe this. I truly don't believe this.
Trust a fecking liberal to take one of the most hallowed weapons from Ghandi's arsenal and turn it into a cheap, plastic, sleazy, Hollywood joke.
"We want to have the emotional punch of a hunger-strike without actually, like, suffering for it."
Oh, karma is going to kick each one of your arses right up betwixt your shoulder blades for this one, I'm here to tell you. Amphibian manure is going to feel sorry for you next turn of the Wheel.
And Willie Nelson. Willie, Willie, Willie. You better check your stash, 'cause either the maid accidentally dumped cleaning fluid on it or the cat is using it for a litter box again.
What sort of hunger-strike is America's Numero Uno pothead going to accomplish? Huh? Swear off brownies for a day? Leave off confusing the window girl at Wendy's All Night Drive-Up for a week?
If I find out which day you're starting this, I swear to Shiva I'm going to FedEx a case of Doritos to your door.
Look at yourselves. All of you. Have you no shame? No pride in yourselves? You are laughingstocks. You are caricatures. No one takes you seriously. How the hell are we supposed to take a "rolling hunger strike" seriously? How?
Vanilla ice cream and coffee?! What the hell kind of deprivation is this? Where the hell is the shared hardship?
I've got some news for you: Yes, we're staring, but it's not the good kind of staring. It's not the "Oh, you're important" stare. No, my little feces-flinging pack of lower primates, the attention you are receiving is the "Oh my Gawd, what is that ... thing?" stare. You're just too damned self-absorbed and dumb to realize it. Yet.
And it's going to be a Bad Day when the lot of you discover that you're nothing but a stale freak-show. Except for you, Cindy. You're too bloody daft to ever figure it out.
"Hunger strike", my fuzzy arse.