Monday, November 13, 2006

Kicking over the giggle box.

Growing up as I did, 'football' meant a game somewhat different than what your average Texican thought of.

After we moved to the States, rugby and I parted ways. Everyone else seemed to think that 'rugby' was an obsolete game last played by veddy prim Englishmen back in the 1800's.

I forgot about the game until the 2000 Presidential election.

I was turning through the paper when I saw a picture of a very young George W. Bush carrying the ball and fending off a determined tackle by way of judicious use of an uppercut.

The accompaning article was a breathless screed announcing that this was a clear example of the moral turpitude of the candidate.

Obviously, the article had been written by someone who had never played rugby, didn't know rugby, and had never asked genuine rugby player their thoughts on the subject.

Anyhoo, this ever-so-brief manure storm reignited my interest in the game and I was thoroughly delighted to learn that by way of DirectTeeVee, I could catch one or two games a year.

Then I stumbled across the New Zealand All Blacks.

Contrary puss that I am, the team name guaranteed that I'd be rooting for them.

Can you imagine the number of apopletic fits and righteous indignation in the NFL?

"Ladies and gentlemen ... now taking the field -- the Detroit All Blacks!"

Heh. Cranial aneurysms would be going off like popcorn.

My delight in the All Blacks was furthered when I discovered the haka.

"Haka" is described as a native Maori dance, performed to express passion, vigour and identity. It is of "ethnically high importance" in "welcoming and entertainment".

Horsefeathers. It's a war dance.

Anyhoo, I was watching some old tapes and I came across this ad -- involving the All Blacks and their haka -- which caused me to blow half a mug of Earl Grey tea through my sinuses.

Forty-five minutes of going through YouTube to find it, but it was worth the search.

I don't know if this will tickle anyone else's funny-bone as hard as it did mine, but I guess we'll find out.



Anonymous said...

Dog, you twisted, marvelous bastard you!!!I hadn't thought about the Maori war dnces or Hakas in years. Thanks.


Rabbit said...

Typically understated Scots.
Deeds, not words.

Thanks for finding that.


Rabbit said...

dang, I forgot...I played real football in college- intramurals. I usually played second row or flanker. That's where I learned about dislocated hips and shoulders for the first time.

It's a real game, and the only game with a spheroid ball my TV picks up.


pdb said...

Being a product of the Canadian high school system, I've got a few old aches and pains from rugby.

Played it for 2 years, still have no friggin' clue what the smeg was going on or what my purpose on the field was.

Melissa in Texas said...

I love it!
The kilt thing just about caused me to fall out of my chair!

bjbarron said...

I fortunately worked recently with several young transplanted New Zealanders...

Rugby was a big deal for them, the company satellite picked up games sometimes, and they would do Haka in the halls.

Pretty sweet. The sheep jokes never stopped.

HollyB said...

Ah, rugby memories. Watching my ex- set broken noses on the sidelines, and stitch cuts of his teammates on the pool table after the game. Yeppers, those were the days.

Anonymous said...

Meh...old news to me. I've been an AB (and rugby in general) fan for a while now. And I love the Haka! Actually, I loved the Haka when it was called by Tana Umaga (shiver, chest heave!) but that's a different story for another day...(sigh)

Nice to see another Texan who enjoys the rugby!

Ms. GD

PubliusCicero said...

God bless New Zealanders.

... it seems He already blessed the Scots :D

Orion said...

Go All Blacks!!
Flanker for the ORSU Jesters here - when I make it up for practice, at least. LOL

Love that - As has been pointed out, typical Scots. Unimpressed, and very pointed in their commentary.

Och, laddie - you ken wha Scots wear th' kilt?

Sheep ca' hear zippers, aye.


Silvereve said...

Now are they both competing for the blue ribbon? *g*

Anonymous said...


You owe me a keyboard! That second clip was suberb!

"Ma tha thu ag iarraidh claidheamh agam a gabhail, Cha bi thu ga faighinn gun strìth!"

Jack (AKA Striker)

Cybrludite said...

Thanks to this video, a now know where Blogger is getting these verification words. Also, it reminds me that I need to get a new kilt...

Flo said...

Oh my. Good thing Hubby's out of town, I have time to wipe the drool off the keyboard. After I watch the video a few more times. To see what color his eyes are--his hair keeps getting in the way. {grin}

kyrakai said...

I gotta stop reading your blog at work. I laughed so hard that my co-workers thought I was having a seizure. Thx for brightening my day.

Titan Mk6B said...

I used to watch intramural rubgy games in college. It was always fun and they always had a keg that was open to all that came to play or watch. The most interesting comment I every heard from a game was "I know you had to do that but you didn't have to do it so hard". Not sure exactly what prompted that comment but it happened just after a particularly enthusiastic gang tackle.

Firehand said...

Friend sent me that whiskey commercial a year or so ago, it's bloody wonderful!

And hell yeah, it's a war dance

Karla (threadbndr) said...

LMAO, but now I'm worried. The Marine!Goth just asked me to dig his old rugby shirt out. He's about to deploy and I'm not sure whether I should worry more about the enemy or the opposite team!!!

AmbulanceDriver said...

I am so glad I'm not at work right now. I wouldn't be able to dispatch anything for about 10 minutes after watching that. Anytime i'd start to settle back down, I'd remember the scots lifting the kilts and start laughing again.

Thanks LD. made my day.

Kaylee said...

Ye Gods and little fishes, how I love the Scots. :)

Citizen H said...

When I was an eight-year-old living in NZ, I always thought the Haka was the best thing since sliced bread. A friend of mine from there just sent me an All-Blacks shirt. Hadn't thought of them for years before that shirt turned up in the mail.

D.W. Drang said...

So, W played Rugby? What kind of an utter idiot would mess with a country who's leader played Rugby?
Dog, your remark about "veddy proper" Englishmen playing Rugby reminds me of the scene inone of the Ian Hay books about WWI in which the battalion is in the rear, and the ossifers arrange a "football" match with a nearby Battalion, and invite the Other ranks to watch. The OR, of course, are only familiar with Association Football (or "Assoc", thus "Soccer" to us) and are horrified when some leftenant picks up the ball and runs with it! In no time at all, they are getting into it, though, and screaming their heads off.
"Rugby is a thugs game played by gentlemen, Soccer is a gentlemen's game played by thugs..."

phlegmfatale said...

Funny, I just quoted John Waters on my blog today about football - he said of the ludicrousness of football padding "what's the point of all that violence if you're prepared for it?!"

Rugby. Now THERE is a man's game. Yummy. Love BOTH these clips you posted. I think I'm going to have to study them both more closely.

Love the haka thing - in the middle of a performance at the Edinburgh Tattoo, the New Zealand Army Band does a Haka about 5 minutes into it - thanks for the link with a close-up (I was wondering what that was). Here's a link - it's about 8 minutes, but it's very entertaining

Anonymous said...

DOG! I love it! Thanks for the great entertainment.
Don't know WHY they always have to be turned AWAY From you, though, when they lift those kilts!
Maybe the Scots are just to gentlemanly to brag.

Anonymous said...

Of course, the obvious thing for the Kiwis to do when the Scots lift their kilts is to stare for a moment, then roll on the ground, laughing and pointing....

Anonymous said...

Dog- there's a story on the HAka and a Texas high-schol football team who uses it in today's (11-17) Wall Street Journal.
One of the players is of Tongan ancestry, and he saw the very video you have posted...and got the rest of his team into it. Now they dance before every game, the whole crown chants with them, and the older, first-generation Tonginese (sp?) immigrants in that town are pleased as punch.

Beats the Tomahawk Chop all hollow, don't it?

David P.

Huck Phinn said...

This was told to me as a true story. I make no claims…

Two youngish English women, on holiday in Edinburgh, were slightly tipsy as the left the pub to return to their hotel. En route they encountered a kilted Scotsman of such suitable age and appearance that they began bantering with him about the age old question of what is worn under a kilt. The banter went back and forth, to and fro, until, with a mischievous glint in his eye, the Scot said,

"Well, now. One o’ you will just have to reach in and find ou’ for your self."

The bolder of the two women did just that. As the explorer grew wide eyed, her sidekick said, "Well?"

The explorer said, "Oooo! It’s gruesome!"

The Scot answered,

"Aye, lass, and if ye bide a wee, it’ll grrrow some morrre!"