Monday, October 13, 2008

Fer God's sake, leave me some stereotypes.

One of the officers who works with our department on a regular basis is in his 60's, bald as a cue-ball, grandkids out the wazoo, about as North Texas redneck as you can get.

He drives an ancient beat-to-hell pickup, with bits of hay in the bed and a Remington Model 11 in the rear window.

He carries a Smith and Wesson Combat Magnum, because he doesn't trust them new-fangled auto-chuckers.

His dog has a red bandanna instead of a collar.

He has every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.

The man is a good-ol'-boy. He is the beta version of the Standard Bubba Model.

Sometime ago back, I walk into the office and there's bunch of S.O. personnel giving him the hairy eyeball as he types an incident report into the computer. He has obviously put a CD into the drive to give him music to help make the report go a little faster.

"... Erst wenn die Wolken schlafengehn ..." growls this gentleman, happily.

I listen for a bit, then nudge another officer. "That sounds like ... Rammstein" I say to her.

"Uh-huh," sayeth she, kind of big-eyed.

"... Kann man uns am Himmel sehn ..." head bobbing enthusiastically.

"Engel?" I guess.


"... wir haben Angst und sind allein ..." he grates, hammering away on the keyboard in time to the beat.

"He's ... singing."

"Umm ... Uh-huh."

"... Gott weiss ich will kein Engel sein ..."

Folks, that's just plain Not Right.



Big Bad Wolf said...

Dog, ya need to add an audio file of the song so people who aren't familiar with Rammsteins music can truly appreciate the depths of your horror.

Love Rammstein, btw. Metal music calms me down for some reason.

Big Bad Wolf said...

Almost forgot, Rammstein is the band playing in the club at the beginning of the movie, "XXX".

Mark said...

It would have been even more mind blowing if he was listening to Enigma The Principles of Lust :o)

Mama Gaea said...

Read your post to a friend of mine. I was LMAO because I think it's great that someone in their 60's likes Rammstein. I'm an electronica fan myself. But my friend's comment was he was a prime candidate for being a skinhead. That's not the case, is it? I hope. Does bald+redneck+german metal=skinhead?

Anonymous said...

So, where exactly, is it written that a redneck can't like growley Metal? Now, if he was listening and singing along to ABBA or (Gods help us) Brittany Spears, THAT would be wrong, wrong, wrong.

Linda said...

Can't help but notice YOU recognized the music. I've never heard of any of this. Great fun imagining it though. LOL

Sabra said...

I know lots of rednecks who like metal, though I'm not familiar with Rammstein myself. I'm just happy I remember enough of my high school German to understand most of the lyrics.

Rorschach said...

Mein Gott in Himmel!
(which pretty much cleans out my inventory of German consonants)

Easily Lost said...

Awwwwww come on, he can't be too old school, if he uses the computer and not an old Selectric typewriter, And he knew the words, that counts for a lot :D
Besides, in my book, most anything but rap beats crying cowboy music ;)
Finds a nice warm place to hide out....

Jim March said...

Those two above are among their best, but they're overall VERY good for a metal band in any language.

One of my fondest memories was a night run across the Mohave desert, Rammstein in a set of earbud headphones under my helmet and doing 150+ on a modified Buell S1 Lightning. Ohhhh yeah.

Christina RN LMT said...


I don't care who you are!

Cybrludite said...

I dunno, the whistling in Engel gives it a bit of a western flair, in a growly German sort of way.

Unknown said...

Given the Germans have "Cowboy and Indian Festivals" like we have Renaissance Faires here, I think it totally fits with a redneck singing German metal. It balances things out a bit. ;-)

Mikael said...


Though Rammstein is reasonably mainstream, and it's not growling...

This is growling:

And actually would have been surprising.

Now to make up for that link, here's something worth listening to:

Dr. StrangeGun said...

Oh. Wow.

I clicked off the link and looked away, and was tapping on the dead space on the keyboard as I'm apt to do, and realized I was merrily poppin' away on the keyboard to "Du Hast" and hearing the lyrics in my head.

BTW, Rammstein != skinhead, mama gaea.

Translated lyrics in question (to Engel

Who in their lifetime is good on Earth
will become an angel after death
you look to the sky and ask
why can't you see them

Only once the clouds have gone to sleep
can you see us in the sky
we are afraid and alone

God knows I don't want to be an angel

They live behind the sunshine
separated from us, infinitely far
they must cling to the stars (very tightly)
so they don't fall from the sky

Only once the clouds have gone to sleep
can you see us in the sky
we are afraid and alone

God knows I don't want to be an angel

Only once the clouds have gone to sleep
can you see us in the sky
we are afraid and alone

God knows I don't want to be an angel

Anonymous said...

Mr. Dog, I am a pushing 60 grandmother. I am a social conservative who just might have to spend the next four years in a cave. I'm a Catholic - not a Biden/Kennedy one but one who actually practices and keeps the faith.

And I love metal, and bluegrass and Gregorian chant. But not rap - I have to have some standards.

Ky Person

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making my day before it's even begun.

You never know just what music soothes the savage beast.

Anonymous said...

Is anyone out there who dares tell the population of Fredericksburg, Texas that they can't be German and redneck simultaneously? If so, I'll dance at your wake after they pull you out of the pavement.

Anonymous said...

A million years ago I dragged my favorite big ole country boy to Oakland along with me to see Siouxsie And The Banshees in concert. He fell in love with them. Who knew?

Anonymous said...

Try turning him on to This Asenscion, specifically their song "Mysterium".


Banshee said...

The lyrics sure sound like a country song. Can't you just see Dolly Parton writing a lonely little angel song? :)

Unknown said...

Okay... based upon the strength of some of the reviews, I picked up Volkerball.

This stuff can get the po-po called...

Now, you have to realize that until recently, I had 6,000 watts to play with... Have had to divest myself of some of the amps, due to consolidation of households, but I still have four 15" subs, and a 2500 watt amp to run them with.

The teenager is NOT going to understand this.

Dr. StrangeGun said...


The teenager will either think "cool!" or the teenager will rebel, and greet you with the tender ministrations of Brahms, Pachelbel, or Mozart loudly on the bedroom stereo...

Unknown said...

bogie: Unfortunately, Rammstein sold out its unique sound when it made its last album, Rosenrot. The great thing about the band was the unique driving beat and creative use of electronics in the music. When Rosenrot came out, it was like they suddenly wanted to be like every other metal band. I haven't listen to Volkerball yet, as they'd turned me off as a fan of any new music with Rosenrot. I'll see if I can listen to it sometime. I'd say Mutter was a better representation of their sound, and is full of good songs. All of the videos to come out of that album were excellent as well.

Anonymous said...

Ah, but Lawdog,

He is an UBER redneck, and therefore allowed to do this.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, the first time I read this, I thought "Rammstein" was a German classical composer I just hadn't heard of before.

Now I'm really not sure which image is more stereotype-shattering: a redneck listening to electropop, or a redneck listening to classical music.

RobC said...

I am 54 and listen to a wide range of music... the exception is foul mouthed rapper music.
So I am also a surprise to the younger genration. :-)

Karla (ThreadBndr) said...

The Marine!Goth turned me onto them, along with Linken Park. Of course, it wasn't a hard sell, since I was a Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, AC/DC fan back in the day LOL.

KD5NRH said...

At the start of the story, I was afraid you were going to say you saw him nailing up an Obama/Biden sign.

Appropriate captcha for talk of Democrats, though: "luzarz"

The Freeholder said...

Hm-m-m...sounds like he could be my role model in a few years...

Anonymous said...

The first time I heard "Du Hast" I was in a Goth dance club in downtown Seattle with some friends. I don't know German, and by observing the crowd dancing I would have guessed that the lyrics roughly translated out as "Grab yourself, grab yourself inappropriatley. Now!" Just a little bit scary, but a good beat to dance to...

Anonymous said...

Lawdog -- I am way late on this, but affairs of the world have interrupted my blog viewing habits.

Anyway, if you are still checking comments:

I'm not sure what the paradox was about the good-ol-boy German-Texan listing to Rammstein is. I mean, Rammstein is just a nice, traditional Bavarian oompah band, and I think I'll head over to my neighbors in New Braufels and see if we can get Rammstein for next year's Wurstfest.

No, really, an oompah band. You can it quite clearly here:


No, really!


Unknown said...

I would suggest recommending E Nomine's "Das Testament" album to him. German techno Bible readings. Phenomenal sound. Talk about making a joyful noise unto the Lord, it's magnificent.

I should probably add, just for emphasis, that a pagan adores and recommends this intensely Christian music. It's just that full of win.