Friday, March 21, 2014

Oh! There you are!

Good greetings!

To start with inmate B is in hospital. When you send an officer, make sure that officer takes full universal precautions.

Officer C put his keys and phone in lock-box #1 at River and River appears to have tried to keep it, because the key to #1 wouldn’t open the lock. I went out there and tried, but I couldn’t get it to open. Several officers of the knuckle-dragging persuasion offered to take a look at it, and I agreed -- as long as there was no hitting it with rocks, bricks, hammers or anything else hard and heavy; no using explosives, flammable gasses or anything at high velocity; power tools were right out; and anything that might conceivably produce arterial bleeding, traumatic amputation or loud noises in any way was strictly verboten.

Much pouting was evident, but they went out to look at it anyway. I’m pretty sure I heard the odd “Eek!” and an “Ook!” or two, and then they came back in and handed me the entire lock – key still inside.


We shook down West/3, came up with the usual string and colored smalls.

Central/North reports that inmate G got cross-threaded with the nurse and hurt the nurse’s feelings: G caught a write-up for it.

Central/South shook-down South/4, where they promptly discovered that at least five inmate workers put extra kibble in their lunch sacks and firmly caught write-ups for it.


I remain:



Old NFO said...

SO I take it Lockbox 1 is now hors de combat???

Jim said...

Damn fine thing to come here and find a new post from you, sir!

Prisoners... y'know, if stooped was a contraband, most of 'em would be rich!

Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Skip said...

Hello stranger!

Homestead Crafter said...

LOL, Jim, you remind me of the Chief of Police in my hometown. He always says that if criminals weren't so stupid, he wouldn't have a job. LawDog and his cohorts seem to have the same problem. But is sure is nice to visit and find a new post for the first time in ages. I've had to resort to re-reading the Pink Gorilla Suit every couple of weeks to get my giggles and LawDog fix!

Aesop said...

Recalling the search party, cancelling the bulletin.

GaryM said...

Glad that you found time to entertain us.

Jerry The Geek said...

Welcome back. You have been missed.

Hoozyrdady said...

Welcome back, Mr. Dawg!

Anonymous said... explosives or power tools...nothing hard and heavy...hand drill and smokeless powder.